Things

Things and people to be thankful for from 2010:

• Amber Fu
• Megan Anderson
• Sara Bryant
• Alec Frey
• Mike Cook
• J.A.M.A.L.
• Autopians such as Lauren, Alyssa, Rachel, Nykole, Gabe, Ryan, Martha, Randy, Jerome, Handy Manny, etc.
• Sovereign Grace Church for being so great to me in California
• Pomegranate Pick Me Up at Jamba Juice in CA.
• Dudley Baptist Church
• Cassi Bush
• The entire West Family!
• DBC Kids!...Every last one of them!!!
• Getting to be a PK (Pastor’s Kid) again!
• Jeannie Haag
• Encouraging songs such as Haven’t Met You Yet – Michael Buble, Count on Me by Bruno Mars, and Meant to Be by Steven Curtis Chapman.
• Gaining a nephew-Hudson!
• Gaining a sister in law-Mallory!
• Great Family and my dad is healthy!
• My dog-Molly!!!!
• Blackbird Coffee
• Comforts of HOME
• I’m home for Christmas!! Last year almost killed me being away!!
• Special friends such as Danielle Kidwell, David Bass-Clark, Amanda Lewan, Misako Harada, Carter Lewellyn, Blaine Ellis, Macey Reynolds, Lexi Selleck, Kristina Donohue, Brittany Findley, Kirsten Quatela Kristin Wood, etc. (I’ll try to keep in touch better next year…I do think of you often even if it doesn’t seem like it sometimes)
• This year is finally ending…haha…I’m ready for a fresh start.

Things to look forward to in 2011:

• New beginnings.
• Passion ‘11
• The lessons I’m bound to learn
• The plans God will reveal
• Quality time with Mom and Dad
• Being settled into a great church
• Possibly going on a mission trip to Uganda
• Possibly going to kids camp with the DBC kids
• Possibly getting a teaching job or at least subbing

Things I’d like to do at some point:

• Live in Mars Hill, North Carolina again one day.
• Be a Disney Cast Member again one day
• Get married!
• Have at least one boy and one girl
• Own a sheepdog
• Go to Egypt
• Regularly go dancing
• Go to CHINA to visit Amber Fu!!
• Learn to cook
• Finally master the art of maintaining a consistent spiritual life
• Learn how to control my emotions
• Go on another mission trip to NYC!
• Regularly go horseback riding
• Regularly go roller skating
• Regularly go rock climbing
• Watch every movie featured at the end of The Great Movie Ride at Disney’s Hollywood Studios

And there are many more…but my computer is dying. I may add more later ☺

The end of 2010.

The following blog post is full of honesty. I have no secrets. Maybe I should, but I’m not very good at keeping them for long, so why bother.

In some ways it seems like this year flew right by and in others ways it seemed like it would never come to an end.

This year has been full of ups and downs for me. Perhaps it could be labeled the most emotional year of my life thus far. My apologies to anyone caught in the crossfire. Somehow or another this year seems to have slipped by me without my consent. Though, I guess they all do that.

I haven’t written in here much. I have to confess it’s mostly because I haven’t been living up to my title of “eternal optimist” I’ve been more of an “eternal pessimist” this year. Which also explains why I’ve been somewhat distant with pretty much all of my friends in the past few months. My apologies for that, as well. I know it’s selfish. Though I may not have been in tip-top shape, perhaps my friends needed me, and yet I stayed distant worried about my own problems. Next year I want to be a more of a whole and stable person so that I will be able to be a better friend to others.

Honestly I sometimes feel so overwhelmed by all the “catching” up I feel I should be doing with all my friends who live in a wide variety of places. I guess it’s a good problem to have. I have so many friends that I find it hard to manage them all! ☺ I consider nearly 10 different girls “best friends” with special significance in my life. Definitely future bridesmaids material! That’s definitely a blessing.

To be honest, a lot of my bad attitude lately comes from my insecurities about my situation in life right now. I just feel kind of out of place. I don’t have a real concrete path that I’m following. Twenty-three is an odd age. I’m not a college student anymore, but I don’t really consider myself a full-fledged adult either. As much as I have great friends around the world, I don’t have many in my current situation. I want buddies to go do stuff with. I’m still somewhat new here and I’m not really plugged in yet with people my age. I live at home with my parents, which is fun, and I feel like it’s the place for me right now and I’m very thankful for it. But I tend to feel somewhat embarrassed by my over-all situation. I really hate the question, “what do you do?” Because I don’t really know how to answer it right now.

Frustrating Things I’ve Learned or Realized This Year:

• I’m SO not in control of …well…anything.
• Life is hard and confusing when you grow up.
• Things definitely don’t EVER turn how I plan; yet somehow I still keep on trying to plan.
• As much of a people person as I am, when I have issues, I usually keep to myself. . I feel it’s best to keep myself hidden away when I’m not at my best. Which is silly since that is when I should call on my friends for encouragement I suppose.
• I seem to be completely unable to control my emotions. When I’m sad it shows, when I’m happy it shows. It’s a curse. Seems that most other people are able to hide when they need to, not me.
• I have trouble with communication when it comes to important serious conversations. I tend to avoid them…because I can’t help but wear my heart on my sleeve and I don’t want to cry.
• I’ve become an expert at beating myself up. I’m trying fix this I think this is somehow related to my newfound pessimism.

Things I need to pray for:

• PATIENCE! I have like…zero.
• The ability to find joy in seemingly negative situations.
• Giving up control.
• Direction. I really have no idea where I’m headed.
• That God would grant me the desire of my heart. (I tend to worry about it instead of praying about it)
• That I would recognize God’s love for me even when I fail instead of beating myself up.

I know I just need to trust God and be patient. Everything in my life right now is happening for a reason and I know God has SOMETHING brewing for me. I just have no idea what it is. But I definitely felt the need to COME HOME after the Disney College Program. I just got caught up in “having fun” in California (and also in Florida) that I got off the right path. Any negative feelings towards that time in my life have nothing to do with anyone besides myself. I just needed to regroup and I needed to be in a good environment right now. I’m glad I can live with my parents and go to Dudley Baptist Church while I wait for God to show me what I’m meant to be doing or where I’m meant to go. My most favorite thing about my life right now is my church.

I’ve felt strongly about possibly becoming an elementary school teacher in the past few months after working a lot with the great kids at church. In the New Year I will start off by exploring my options in that area.

Today I was thinking about the great experience I had at the Passion ’06 Christian conference 5 years ago right before I went away to college. I checked into signing up for Passion ’11 and come to find out my church already has a group going! So I signed up! I’m excited!! What a great way to start out the New Year!

Global Perspective.

I received news today that one of the young girls, Williette Henries, that I met in Liberia in 2008 passed away due to illness on Wednesday. So sad. Definitely puts things into perspective...


Williette and me.

This song shuffled on my ipod today:

Do They Know It's Christmas Time -

"There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dreaded fear.
Where the only water flowing is a bitter sting of tears
And there won't be snow in Africa this christmas time
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows
No rain or rivers flow
Do they know it's christmas time at all?"


I went back and looked through my photos from my mission trip to Africa. I found a video of her. So depressing. People go on mission trips, encourage the people for a few short days, and then in most cases never see them again or have really even much opportunity to keep in touch or help them from so far away! It's so easy to slip back into our daily American lives and forget what we saw and experienced in other countries. I'm not sure how to combat this. How can you keep a constant global perspective and prevent yourself from becoming self-centered on your own life and country?

The more I live my life and go on my adventures the more contact I make with people from other countries. I love that. I hope that it is helping me have a wider world view. In the past year I've kinda fallen in love with the chinese. Literally ha. :P I lived with Amber Fu from January until August. I've also had the pleasure of hanging out with a few other chinese people that I met from the Disney College Program. Most of them are back in China now. I still get to skype with Amber. I love her so much. I refuse to lose touch with her. Beyond that my best friend Megan Anderson is living in South Korea teaching English. I like having friends in/from other countries. I'm enjoying learning all about chinese culture from Junchen.


Amber Fu!!


Megan Anderson


Skyping with Junchen

Disney Parks -- Disney Vacation Memories

The newest Disney Parks campaign is such a great idea. Watch this video. It made me cry :P

Epic Life 2

Here's an update on my life. Check out my latest video blog with an all new intro!

I'm Home! New Video Blog.

I'm Home!

Check out my latest video blog. I discuss the end of the Disney College Program and what's next for me.

One year as a Cast Member.

Hello!

I have recently made the decision to leave the Walt Disney Company for a time after my college program ends. It was a very hard decision. But it was mine to make. I am SO glad I did it. I have thoroughly enjoyed this year inside the company from coast to coast. I have learned so much. I am not at all closing the book on Disney. I just know that I need a break from the insanity that comes along with being a Cast Member. I will miss all the perks and making the magic, but I think I will be back so it's not as if I'm saying goodbye forever.

I know that my decision may have come as a shock to anyone who keeps up with my life. Here's a brief synopsis of what went on in my head: First I really wanted to stay with the company, but I knew I needed a break. When I went home for my brother's wedding, I applied to Georgia College and State University (GCSU). I then applied to be a Disney College Program Campus Representative, allowing myself time off, while remaining a Cast Member and getting to live at home. I would give myself a break and take some French classes (a passion that has been on the back burner for far too long). Then I'd go back to Walt Disney World in January after I was sufficiently refreshed. The perfect plan!

When I found out that there were already too many campus reps at GCSU, I was devastated. My perfect plan was ruined. What would I do?! I e-mailed the head of the Disney College Program who made an exception and decided to let me in for the "full" fall session of the program at Walt Disney World. I was soooo excited. She made an exception for ME!? WOW. I am eternally grateful. I miss Walt Disney World so much, this really was a dream come true. I was all set to go. Still feeling like I needed a break, but trying to cover the feeling with my excitement for Walt Disney World.

Then I had a set back. After many realizations and frustrations in my current role, my eyes were opened and my heart got a little broken. I know I've always put the company on a pedestal. The realities of big business and politics hit hard. Anyways now I know that being a Cast Member or an employee for any company is really what you make of it and you have to take the good with the bad. I can't be bitter just cause I had a few set backs. I know what the company stands for and was built on and NO ONE can destroy that for me, no matter how much corruption, bad attitudes, and naysayers I run into along the way. It was a painfully good lesson for me to learn. I will always love the Walt Disney Company! I won't let anyone else destroy the magic for me.

This lesson came at the perfect time, just before I had to make my final decision about whether or not I'd return to WDW for a 3rd and final college program. On that same day I got my acceptance letter to GCSU. I had already been toying around with the idea of backing out. I think my set back made me re-evaluate. It allowed me to open my mind to other avenues and life outside of Disney. When you are a Cast Member, it's as if you eat, breath, and sleep Disney. It's easy to forget about the world around you. I have sacrificed a lot in the last year and put a lot of things on hold. I think my set back and good advice from family and friends gave me the freedom to let go of Disney. After much deliberation, I logged onto the Disney College Program website and clicked, "decline".

I recently worked the 55th anniversary of Disneyland and then went into the park to celebrate with my family. Cast Members and characters rushed out and sang an danced to "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" in front of the train station. I shed a tear that day, I have had the best time of my life so far working for the Walt Disney Company. My last day will be exactly one year from my original hire date. It is bittersweet, but I am confident that I am doing exactly what is best for me at this time.

If I am supposed to continue my career within the Walt Disney Company, God CAN and WILL work it out. I don't need to be holding onto the things that I love so tightly anyways. I don't think that's healthy. So I think letting go was the wise decision.

I am coming home. *biggest sigh of relief ever...followed by an extremely peaceful feeling*