Sunday, April 10, 2011


Molly Daws is gone. My best friend has died.

...What now?

I've never experienced a death of a loved one. The thing that strikes me most is the permanence of death. I'll start to imagine hugging her and I can almost feel her velvet ears and coarse hairs and then I realize that I will never again be able to do that. She took care of us for 14 years, at our left overs and licked our tears when we cried.

She went down fast and our last night with her was so rough and painful for us both, for her physically and for us emotionally. There were seizures, bleeding, barks filled with pain. It breaks my heart. We spent the night next to her holding her paws through it all. When the vet finally opened, there was no question what we had to do. In weeks prior we carried her outside to pee, hand fed her, and got all types of her bodliy fluid on us. But I was happy to do it. In fact, I'd say it's the very least I could have done for all she did for me.

She brought so much joy to my heart and filled our house with love. I was always so proud of her, she was beautiful, she was obedient, she was friendly, she was loving, and she was mine. My baby. My best friend. And she's gone.

I once punched a guy on church property defending Molly after he had kicked her. I said the f word for the first time after a neighbor threatened her. If you knew her you'd understand ...she was a dog worth fighting for! I stuck up for her as if she was my own sister, because she was really an extention of the Daws family.

My favorite story about her is the time when we were living in Rome, GA and Dad was pastoring FSBC. We lived right next to the church and our dogs roamed free. One Sunday morning, Dad was preaching away and he looked up and saw Molly walk in and take a seat on a back pew. He kept it together and moved on and at the end of his sermon he found her fast asleep in the back of the church. Haha. That was her. Full of personality, I guess she woke up that morning and said to herself, "I think I'll go to church today." Here's what I think, she surrendered her life to Jesus that day and spent the next 14 years being a light in our home and to all she met. :P (j/k)

I will always treasure the memories I have with her and hold them close to my heart. She made a huge impact on my life and taught me to love others unconditionally, to be a loyal friend and family member, and to be an encourager.

I told her repeatedly throughout her life that she was never alloed to die. Never have I dreaded a death so much. All my life a sure fire way to make me cry was to think of her inevitable death. The only time I ever cry in movies is dog related, because of how much I even remember one time I was afraid to go down a zipline. The guide tried to convince me to do it by telling me to think of a loved one that needed to do it for. I thought for a while and down I went screaming, "Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly!!!" the whole way.

I loved her SO much. She will never be forgotten. I fully intend to have another dog one day, a beagle or a basset hound. It will not be a replacement for Molly, because that would be impossible. She was one of a kind. Instead, I will raise it as a role model for the perfect dog. If I have a little girl one day I would like to name her, Molly.

Thank you all for your kind words and for sending your love and prayers towards me and our family. And thank you God for the blessing of Molly Daws. She will be missed.


  1. Very well said!! I know Molly felt the same way about you - you were so loving to her and a great nurse in her last days.

    She has left a void that nothing can fill, but I like what you said yesterday when we were discussing who would lick our tears now. You said that God will still be there storing out tears in a bottle.

    I love you.

  2. Molly sounds like she was a wonderful dog and friend. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it's hard :-(

    We lost our second gerbil a couple weeks ago and even that made me cry - just knowing I wouldn't ever see her cute little furry face anymore or hear her scurrying around in her cage. She was another presence in the house with me here day and night - a very small presence - but one that I miss. And I can't imagine how that is multiplied a million times with a dog who snuggles you and follows you around and gazes into your eyes with love.

    I definitely feel the same way when I think about losing our dog Ammy and we've only had her for a year! You're in my thoughts and prayers. And I definitely think you should get another dog when you're ready. Dog people should have dogs - they make us happy :-) And if you adopt you could save a precious little life!

    Thank you for sharing about Molly :-)