Time

How the heck did I get to this point? I'm graduating from college a week from today.

All the speculating and dreaming I've done about being out of school is finally becoming a reality. I feel as though my future out of the education system will be so much free-er. I can use my free time how I want to use it. I can do what I want to do. I think what I've disliked most about this last semester and all of my time in school is that I have been a slave to my work...even when I'm not in class. I've had to spend my time learning things I don't really care about. When I get out I'll be able to relax at night and my free time will be my own again! I can spend that time indulging in the things that I love...I feel like lately my personality has been suspended because I haven't been able to do "Jenny" things ...only homework.

I am pretty darn excited about having time to read the Chronicles of Narnia again...I've been stuck in time inside of the Horse and His Boy for months! I gotta get through that book so I can find out how it all ends up (don't tell me!!!).

As we go on we remember...all the times we've...shared together.

On Tuesday I went to senior convocation and experienced my first real feeling of bittersweetness about graduating. Today was the last day of school! MY last day of school! What!? We also had graduation rehearsal today. That's when it all became real. I'm graduating in 9 days! I still have to pass my genetics and ecology final (so i can't REALLY relax until next Thursday, may 7th, when final grades are posted...but then it's official.)

It all happened so fast. I'm wishing I would have had more time to hang out with a lot of awesome people. There are so many people in my world here at Mars Hill that I always intended to or wanted to get to know better or invest more time in. It sucks that time has gotten away from me and any chances I have to be with these people are slipping away! I will miss my close friends here very much. But it's the acquaintances or friends that I didn't actually hang out with outside of classes, scholarship meetings, blueprint, or seeing them in the caf...that I'm lamenting even more. Those are the people who I might not have ever said much to...but they've meant a lot...just seeing them...having them in my bubble...around me....that's something I'll miss. It's the people that I would exchange a friendly (or sometimes flirty) smile with almost every day that I regret not having taken the time to invest in. The friends that I would say "yea sure...we'll totally hang out soon!" and then we never did...I feel pretty crappy about those relationships. I've appreciated having these people in my life so much...I just wish I could convey that to all of them!

There have been so many awesome memories...every semester has been a new and different experience. I'm so thankful for my time here and all the wonderful people that have put the color into my life.

In my newly forming adult life...I want to:

• invest in my relationships more
• make a recipe scrap book
• learn to cook
• read novels
• stop stressing out so much!
• be intentional
• life live on purpose

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HDM3eYp4KQ

Burnt to a crisp...

Not only am I burnt to a crisp from this recent emergence of glorious sunshine....I am also officially burnt out from school.

Especially now that it's beautiful outside...it's getting increasingly harder for me to concentrate. I can't fully enjoy the sunshine...but I also can't fully concentrate on school. It's actually pretty miserable and has left me in constant panic and worry. I don't like it!

I have two tests tomorrow with I feel pretty unprepared for. Every time I've tried to study, my brain shuts down and I get wayyyy overwelmed. This is a bit scary. I would hate to make it this far (13 days!!) just to fail miserably and disappoint everyone around me including myself.

I can't think like that though. I will make it! I've come too far to give up now. I got this.

I finally went onto the roof of Moore Auditorium the other day (a Mar Hill College must for every student). It was pretty awesome. You have to climb this scary metal ladder wayyyy up and then you walk along the rafters and crawl out a door onto the roof.
I enjoyed that immensely :). So I'm officially ready to graduate.

I've been listening to that Graduation song by Vitamin C alot lately. Haha...good stuff.

I'M SO READY!!

Fried!

My brain hurts.

39 days.

Starting on Friday, I'll be pretty free for the next two weeks to actually have some down time!

Gotta push through!!

As soon as I find some free time...I'm watching some freaking Full House!! Heck yea!

Jump Right In!

A lot has happened and changed in the past few weeks.
Good things...Bad things...in between things.

I am so incredibly ready to be moving on. Not necessarily moving on from the people..(well...)...seriously I will miss most everyone I've had the opportunity to know here. Mostly it's just that I am ready to move on with my life in general. This section, the "college-student" part, of my life has expired. As a friend would say, "I've expended my resources here." I'm ready to take on the next stage.

I'm the senior Bonner intern in Lifeworks (the career development center at my college). I work there on Tuesdays and Thursday afternoons. I'm coordinating a career fair, making a senior handbook (a book of all the seniors' experiences as bonner scholars), and arranging a tree planting for earth day. I am thoroughly enjoying this work. Everyday I work in there I am even more excited about getting a real job. It's the closest thing I've ever experienced to a real job, where I have my own responsiblities. It's as if I'm still a lowly college student on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays and on Tuesdays and Thursdays I get a preview of my life to come...a life with no school. I can not wait.

I spent an hour on the phone with my dad just now talking about my future plans and discussing all the bills I'll be taking on once I get a good job. I'm excited to be taking over all that stuff. It will be pretty neat to have a steady income. I mean...providing I get a steady job somewhere either over the summer or after I complete Disney College in January (if I get in). If I don't get in to Disney College I might see if I can take over the Americorp Vista job at my school. That would put me working in Lifeworks as an actual employee. I'm sure I would enjoy this job because it will just be an amplified version of my volunteer job there.

I should know about Disney College by the end of the month...though it could be as late as the second week of March. I just want to know one way or another so I can make plans accordingly.

The countdown has begun....there are 78 days til I graduate.