Eternal Optimist

My Journey

2011-11-04T21:51:00.001-07:00

My Journey

On May 9th of 2009, I graduated from Mars Hill College.

From August 12, 2009 - August 12th, 2010, I participated in the Disney College Program at Disney World and Disneyland. I had the time of my life! A passion was totally ignited within me for guest service and making magic.

Though I worked at the two happiest places on earth, I was lacking a sense of fulfillment. I was happy, but my deep inner joy and purpose was missing. I had taken God off the throne in my life and started living for me. My goal in life was to do whatever I thought best for me, in order to have the most exciting, epic life possible. The problem with that was that it was MY plan and I had left any plan God had for my life far behind me.

On August 15, 2010, at the end of my year with Disney, God called me home to Dublin, Georgia. I knew there was a void in my life and God gave me the strength to put Disney on the back burner so He could fix me. He knew I needed an overhaul, to get my priorities straight, before I could get back on HIS plan for my life.

On January 1st-4th at Passion 2011, through the power of the Holy Spirit and God's word spoken through various Christian leaders, God totally turned my life around, refocused me, and showed me that my whole purpose in life is to glorify Him. He took my confusion, bitterness, and void and threw it out and gave me a fresh start and a new perspective.

On February 25, 2011, while watching the fireworks from the Polynesian resort at Disney in Florida, God put a calling in my heart to return to Disney, pursue my passion for guest service, and be a light for Jesus there.

On February 28, 2011, I found a fb group for a ministry called the CP Apartment that is a group of Disney College Program Alumni who's, "mission and goal is to permanently infuse a christian and evangelical presence in the Disney community." News of this ministry and following their Facebook account all year has been such a great encouragement to me and kept me enthusiastic about what God is going to do and is doing even now.

Ever since then God has had me on a journey of discovering His purpose for my life and how He intends to use my passions for His glory. All year God has provided me with a very steady, full time work through baby sitting, nannying, child care, chauffeuring, dog sitting, and now an out of the blue job at Vision Savers. None of which have I applied for or sought out! They have all just fallen in my lap. ...Yea...I know. Cool!! I've literally worked a whole year of odd jobs. It's been a great ride and allowed me the flexible schedule and free time to pursue God.

God has given me the dedication to work hard all year to save for an eventual move to Florida, to pursue this calling. The plan: save money, find, apply, and get a job at Disney, move to Orlando. I felt as though I should give myself a whole year to save a significant amount of money, enjoy the freedom of non-disney life, spend time with my parents, and prepare myself spiritually by seeking God like never before.

Well folks, the year is almost up and my time to apply for jobs that start in January is fast approaching. I have found myself getting nervous.

Nervous? But that's ridiculous! Have I somehow diluted myself all year into thinking that I have been in control of this first part of the plan, making the money? Because, in reality it was God alone who provided me with those jobs, it was nothing I did on my own. He did it all. So why then should I even question or worry about Him providing the job and making the move to Orlando possible!? I shouldn't! I absolutely shouldn't worry. As 1 Thessalonians 5:24 says, "Faithful is he that calls you, who also will do it."

So why worry?! God has proven Himself faithful on my behalf time and time again! I was lost and He found me when no one else was looking and He turned my life around for His glory. The best is yet to come!

One of the reasons I fell away when I worked at Disney before was the crazy schedules that led to lack of church or christian community. I have been praying for quite some time now that God would either eventually provide me with a husband who can help keep me accountable and on track with God as I venture out on my own or that He would provide me with a community of Christians in Orlando that can be my support.

On October 30th, I found out that a church that I had been following on Facebook and hoping to attend whenever I relocate to Orlando, is actually opening a campus on Disney property in early 2012 that's sole purpose is to cater to the needs and schedules of Disney cast members and equip them to be a light at Disney. Wow. God answers prayer!!

So why should I ever worry!? God is faithful. :) Thanks for reading and following my journey. Please pray for open doors and favor at Disney as I apply in December.

Vote for Ruthie Fu!!

2011-10-17T08:06:00.000-07:00

Hey guys!!

I have entered my 5 month old beagle in a the Petsmart Monster Cute Halloween Contest powered by Greenies! Please go and vote for her at the link below. You can vote once a day every day until October 24th! Thanks so much!! If she wins she will be in a Petsmart commercial!

http://apps.facebook.com/petsmarthalloween/gallery.do?op=detail&entry_id=28163

Welcome Fall! Here's what's up!

2011-10-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

It's October 1st, the air is crisp, and I'm listening to Christmas music! ...yes I know..I'm weird. I have the mindset that Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are all one big holiday and I tend to celebrate them in a swirl of holiday goodness.

This is absolutely my most favorite time of year!

Here's a quick update.

I recently realized that God has provided me with steady work from the moment I moved back home to Georgia last August, up until now and at least until January. I am truly blessed. And each of those job just fell into my lap. How I've managed to turn babysitting into a full time job is beyond me. It's been a fun ride. I have definitely learned a lot about kids and come to many conclusions about any hypothetical parenting I may end up doing one day.

I will be applying to Disney World in December. I am praying hard that God will open a door for me to start working as a Cast Member again in January. I know I'll need money to make the transition to Orlando, so I have been saving money like never before! God is definitely teaching me about discipline and self-control this year. I now wake up early, care about my eating habits, save money, care about being on time to things (well...sometimes ;P), and run three days a week! I am SOOO not into any of those things, it just goes to show that God really does answer prayers. I have prayed to be more disciplined and it's clear that God has been helping me to become more diligent. I am amazed, because it's definitely not by my own will power, that's for sure! I'm just so glad that I'm developing these good "grown-up girl" habits before I move out on my own!

I am happily, hard at work dreaming up and collecting for my future apartment on my own. My kitchen is going to be retro 1950's style with lots of red and some black and white checkers, like an old soda shop. I've already started my collection. My whole christmas list is filled with cute kitchen necessities and decorations. I guess I've become a legit woman now that I'm enthused about kitchen gear. Sheesh...I truly thought that day would never come. I can remember thinking my sister-in-law, Becca was absolutely nuts for putting kitchen stuff on her Christmas list. I have seen the light now though. Haha! My living room is going to be filled with framed photographs of very lush, green nature scenes for a black and green modern nature look.

Ruthie Fu is getting SO big! Also she has already started losing her baby teeth and getting her adult teeth in. It's amazing how quickly puppies grow! The tooth fairy visited her the night she lost her two front teeth and I am going to take her trick or treating in costume on Halloween. I'm basically raising her like a human child...it's pretty intense. Haha. She even has her own little hoodie. She knows how to sit, lay down, and play dead when I say, "bang". It's extremely cute.

So that's about it for me, I am thoroughly enjoying this time living with my parents and raising our two puppies. Life is good. I can't wait for all the holiday fun that is just around the corner!! There's excitement in the air.

Here's a slice of what's to come: Halloween, Putting up the Christmas tree, Thanksgiving, The Muppets Movie, The California family comes to stay for a WHOLE MONTH (and possibly Jon and Mallory too!), Applying for Disney, Christmas, and Passion 2012....to name a few. Let the good times role. :)

You Found Me

2011-08-27T15:28:00.000-07:00

I was in my car with my ipod on shuffle the other day when it shuffled to an old song by Kelly Clarkson called "You Found Me" I was only half paying attention until I heard the words,

"You found me when no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through all of my confusion
The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
The good and the bad and the things in between
You found me, you found me"

Now I'm not a huge Kelly Clarkson fan, BUT...these words spoke to me. She expressed the words that have been on my thankful heart all year (with a twinge of bitterness towards all men...which I can get behind :P) I feel as though this is what happened with me at Passion in January. I was angry and bitter that I was still single and alone at the *old* age of 24. But then HE found me...when no one else (no guy) was looking for me. No one else cared. God did. No guy noticed me. So what. God did. He found me, He broke through all of my confusion. He has stuck with me all along through the ups and the downs, He still didn't leave! I guess that He sees what nobody (no guy) could see. The good and the bad and the things in between!

Now that I've listened to this song in a new light, I can't imagine how anyone in their right might could actually expect a human man to be so superhumanly awesome like the song is implying. I feel like probably one of the reasons for so many failed relationships is that women expect men to be their Savior! No matter if he's the "one" or not...he's not going to fullfill you, he's not gonna save you, he probably won't notice every little detail about you, though he may be great. Only Jesus can do all of that.

To hear the song and look at the lyrics here's a link to it on youtube. :) Enjoy!

Puppy clips!

2011-08-09T11:13:00.001-07:00

Check out some clips of our new puppies, Ruthie Fu and Cali! :D Also my brother got their sister, Maeby!

Meet...Ruthie Fu Daws!!

2011-07-02T17:37:00.001-07:00

I picked out my new sidekick today.

It was a hard decision. Look at how cute they all were!!

But Ruthie had the exact white spot on the back of her neck and the same white tipped tail that Molly had. We were torn between her and another girl who had cute speckled feet.

We decided that Ruthie would be a tribute to Molly with her same coloring.

We will pick her up a week from tomorrow!! She's fully mine.

Ruthie comes from Ruth which means "friendship" (which we learned while watching Secret Church) and the real Ruth from the Bible who is known for her loyalty.

Ruthie's life's verse is:
Ruth 1:16-17
But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.
Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me."

Her middle name of course comes from Amber Fu. My favorite Chinese girl in the whole world and one of my best friends ever! Hehe.

I can't wait to start training her.

Adulthood is...having to buy your own couch...

2011-07-01T22:42:00.000-07:00

This has been an AMAZING year. It's only halfway through and I've already seen God do so much in and around me. It's truly exciting. God has revealed a lot of vital things to me in these past 6 months.

For instance. In this year I have come to the FREEING discovery that my life doesn't revolve around finding a man and getting married. Thank God for that because..if it did I'd be totally failing at life lol. Seriously tho. This may be common sense to everyone else but boy has it set me free! I always "knew" that I'd get married and have kids right out of college and that would be my life. I'd never have to worry about transitioning into adulthood...my man would take care of providing for us and managing all the "scary" details and our life together would be blissful.

When life didn't exactly pan out that way, I grew increasingly more bitter. By the grace of God opening my eyes, I now know, I was gravely mistaken to plan my life as if it revolved around my wedding day. The fact is...who really cares that my life didn't pan out the way I planned!? Surprise, surprise. What's the big deal!? God NEVER promised that my life would unfold in MY time frame or even that I'd get married period. And let me tell you, that thought would have scared the pants off of me last year. But to be perfectly honest. I like that I'm making my own way and that I've been given the experience of depending on God alone for my leadership into adulthood. That is something that girls who get married right off the bat or are in godly relationships do not have the opportunity to experience.

I have been trying my best to take responsibility with my life ever since this sobering discovery. I admit it is hard, and it is scary being a family of ONE. However, I WILL NOT sit around and wait to get married to start living my life. What an insanely stupid thought! I can't believe I had it once. It's so ridiculous. No. I will pursue my passions. Pursue God. I will set goals for my own life and work towards them, apart from any man. I'm not a feminist...I've just seen the light regarding irresponsibly putting all my hope into marriage and expecting a man to do everything for me.

God has given me a passion for the Disney Parks. I fully intend on pursuing that passion and doing the best job I can for God's glory. That's my plan. If I'm married or not...doesn't matter. I'm honestly not worried about it. I am setting up shop...just me, myself, and I. Sure it would be nice to have a husband to lead me, make all the hard decisions, plan with me, pick out furniture and curtains with me, build a home with me, etc. But that's not the way my life has unfolded. So what. My life is killer!! I love it so much! God has blessed me with SO MUCH.

Even with this recent realization, it honestly had not yet occurred to me that eventually I would need to BUY all the items that most girls are GIVEN for their wedding and pick out with their husband when they get married. Things like a blender, utensils, a vacuum, a table, and a couch. I came to this epiphany a few days ago. I feel like that is yet again another thing that it would be silly to wait on. I am 24 now. Life is in full force. It's time to pick out a couch (so to speak) and settle in somewhere. Sure it is SO NOT FAIR that us single ladies get the shaft and actually have to buy our own stuff. But we'll be stronger for it in the long run. (Though I would totally be open to starting a revolution to make a mandatory tradition for single women over the age of 23 to be thrown a party where practical gifts are given ;P)

So, I have a long term plan. I'm buying a dog. I'm setting goals. I'm pricing appliances and furniture. I have ambitions. I am saving money like crazy for the first time in my life. I've never had that kind of drive or self-control about anything before. It's incredible.

I just gotta say that to the world of girls who are waiting around for prince charming...get off your butt and live your life, ladies. Stop waiting for prince charming and start living it up, just you and your Savior...plan as if it's just you and Him forever. If you're not content with that thought, you need to seriously evaluate your Christianity. I did. And here's what I learned: It's not about your MARRIAGE. It's about your LIFE and glorifying God with it. If He chooses to bring you a companion. So be it. But no where does it say in the Bible that your prince charming is on His way.

Put down the fluffy, romantic, christian self-help books, turn off A Walk to Remember and Michael Buble, and open your eyes to the life that God has waiting for you. It's truly wonderful when you do.

God has a plan for your life as a single person. Ask Him and He will show you the way! You're not helpless. "Man up."

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

These words are from the song "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real:

"So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh Father, show me the way
...Won't you lead me"

They are from the point of view of a husband asking God to help him lead his family. But I think of them in another way. I am often overwhelmed by "going it alone" in this crazy world. I feel often like I don't even know where to start or what to do when it comes to the many things that go into adulthood. But God is FAITHFUL to lead me! I must remember that!! It is as much exciting as it is scary because in all my fears there are opportunities for God to blow my mind with His careful guidance in my life.

So I leave you with this ladies:
"Faithful is He that called you, who also will do it."
1 Thessalonians 5:24

So what are you waiting for? Don't be stupid, people. Don't be stupid.

The Daws Show

2011-06-19T11:04:00.000-07:00

Check out the video I made for Dad for father's day. :D

I love our family. What a blessing it is to be apart of it.

Happy Father's Day.

2011-06-18T20:46:00.000-07:00

To my Dad who has always been there, who is wise, who has always taught me what's right, and who is a huge goof ball:

I love you!

Happy Father's Day!!

California Epic Adventures

2011-06-02T18:27:00.000-07:00

I had an amazing week in California last week. Check out my video of my adventures with friends and family!

The Parent Trap: Dublin Style

2011-05-15T17:35:00.000-07:00

Me and some girls from church had a Tangled Party/Sleep Over

We made a movie!! Enjoy The Parent Trap: Dublin Style

Eternal Optimist Vlog 28

2011-05-13T18:30:00.001-07:00

I figured I needed to do a formal video blog update since my last one was in February. Check it out.

Passion Meets Purpose.

2011-04-30T20:39:00.000-07:00

I went to the Orange conference on children's ministry/student ministry. While there I had the opportunity to meet a Disney executive who is a strong christian. Random? No. Divine. :) God is good. It was extremely encouraging! He shared with me about a Disney animator who is using his passion and talent for Christ at Disney. I found this video on youtube of the animator talking about his work. Check out this video of Glen Keane. He animated the Beast, Ariel, and Rapunzel. So cool. I LOVE how he doesn't feel like he has to be a pastor in order to be a Christian influence in the world. Here is an article about Glen's work. Instead he is using his passion (animation) while fulfilling his purpose (to glorify God). I think that is EXACTLY what God intended us to do with our passions. Louie Giglio did a sermon relating to that at Passion 2006 called Passion, Purpose, and Designer Jeans. Check it out on iTunes for free.

The Great Movie Ride Challenge

2011-04-25T08:06:00.000-07:00

I have decided to watch all (except for a few movies I refuse to watch) of the movies in the Great Movie Ride at Disney's Hollywood Studios. I found the list on wikipedia and I copied it into a word document where I color coded it with this key:

Own It
Seen It Before
Excited to See
Not Excited to See
Will Not Watch

Make your own list and use netflix, redbox, or blockbuster to do the challenge. :) I will be starting as soon as Footlight Parade arrives from netflix and probably blogging about my progress.

Great Movie Ride Movies

Movies in the Ride

1. Footlight Parade (Warner Brothers)
2. Singin' in the Rain (MGM)
3. Mary Poppins (Disney)
4. The Public Enemy (Warner Brothers)
5. The Searchers (Warner Brothers)
6. Alien (20th Century Fox)
7. Raiders of the Lost Ark (Lucasfilm)
8. Tarzan the Ape Man (MGM)
9. Casablanca (Warner Brothers)
10. Fantasia (Disney)
11. The Wizard of Oz (MGM)

Current films in finale

12. The Cure
13. The Rink
14. Behind the Screen
15. The Great Train Robbery
16. The Birth of a Nation
17. The Ten Commandments
18. The Kiss
19. Wings
20. The Jazz Singer
21. Show Boat
22. 42nd Street
23. Dirty Dancing
24. Yankee Doodle Dandy
25. Grease
26. Jailhouse Rock
27. Sister Act
28. Chicago
29. Babes in Arms
30. Cabin in the Sky
31. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
32. Anchors Aweigh
33. Airplane!
34. Saturday Night Fever
35. Cops
36. Take the Money and Run
37. Down and Out in Beverly Hills
38. A Plumbing We Will Go
39. Blazing Saddles
40. Arthur
41. Bright Eyes
42. A Night at the Opera
43. Three Men and a Baby
44. Broadcast News
45. Arsenic and Old Lace
46. Beverly Hills Cop
47. Trading Places
48. The Godfather
49. The Godfather Part II
50. Taxi Driver
51. Shanghai Knights
52. True Grit
53. The French Connection
54. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
55. North by Northwest
56. San Francisco
57. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
58. Never Say Never Again
59. The Terminator
60. Rambo: First Blood Part II
61. A Nightmare on Elm Street
62. King Kong
63. Young Frankenstein
64. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
65. 2001: A Space Odyssey
66. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
67. Top Gun
68. The Absent-Minded Professor
69. Platoon
70. The Karate Kid
71. The Bridge on the River Kwai
72. Amadeus
73. Citizen Kane
74. Chariots of Fire
75. 10
76. Tootsie
77. Funny Girl
78. Giant
79. Pal Joey
80. Adam's Rib
81. Gone with the Wind
82. From Here to Eternity
83. Shakespeare in Love
84. Pearl Harbor
85. Wuthering Heights
86. Notorious
87. The Way We Were
88. Lady and the Tramp
89. Who Framed Roger Rabbit
90. Grand Hotel
91. Queen Christina
92. A Place in the Sun
93. Stagecoach
94. Sunset Boulevard
95. The Grapes of Wrath
96. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
97. A Streetcar Named Desire
98. Klute
99. Roman Holiday
100. Gilda
101. Hud
102. Good Morning, Vietnam
103. Apocalypse Now
104. All About Eve
105. Lawrence of Arabia
106. Doctor Zhivago
107. Armageddon
108. Finding Nemo
109. Thelma and Louise
110. High Noon
111. Unforgiven
112. Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
113. Lassie Come Home
114. Patton
115. Malcolm X
116. Forrest Gump
117. It's a Wonderful Life
118. The Sound of Music
119. Ben-Hur
120. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Films previously in the finale film

121. Swing Time
122. The Band Wagon
123. The Three Musketeers
124. The Adventures of Robin Hood
125. Cocoon
126. Independence Day
127. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
128. Fatal Attraction
129. The Seven Year Itch
130. Big
131. Million Dollar Mermaid
132. Aladdin
133. An American in Paris
134. It Happened One Night
135. High Society
136. Crocodile Dundee
137. Terms of Endearment

Molly Remembered.

2011-04-24T20:38:00.000-07:00

After Molly passed away, a friend gave me a small stuffed animal of a brown dog. I have grown quite attached to it since her death. It looks like Molly as a puppy and is about the same size that she was when we first found her. I have started sleeping with it at night (Yes, I still sleep with stuffed animals. Get over it.) Today when we got back from church, the stuffed animal had somehow left my bed upstairs in my bedroom and was mysteriously sitting in front of our fireplace downstairs where Molly used to sleep. It was freaky. I suppose one of our cats could have done it. Or MAYBE...it was the spirit of Molly wanting to be near us again. :P Anyways it was a nice reminder of her. ...not that we have or ever will forget her.

Today I suddenly remembered a line from a poem I wrote about Molly when I was bored in class one day in college. I searched through my chest of old journals and notebooks and I found it! Here it is:

Molly.
My pillow, my solace, my friend.
Chocolate, cow dog.
My eternal hug.
Your penetrating eyes...
I'm sure you understand every word.

I'm not sure if that could actually be considered a poem or not. But I was heart felt.

Colder Weather

2011-04-11T21:47:00.000-07:00

My brother plays bass for Levi Lowry and the Community House Band and they are touring with Zac Brown Band!

Zac Brown has the number one song in the country right now, Colder Weather.

As his sister it's my job to shameless promote Jon Daws. :D So here's how you can help:

* Call your local radio station and request Colder Weather!!

* Check them out at www.levilowry.com and post the site to your facebook profile.

* Go to Conan O'Brien's facebook page (team coco) and let them know on the discussion board that you want Levi Lowry and the Community House Band on the show! Do it! We've started a discussion topic to get their attention so help me out!

Thanks guys,

Proud Sister :D

Molly

2011-04-10T20:27:00.000-07:00

Molly Daws is gone. My best friend has died.

...What now?

I've never experienced a death of a loved one. The thing that strikes me most is the permanence of death. I'll start to imagine hugging her and I can almost feel her velvet ears and coarse hairs and then I realize that I will never again be able to do that. She took care of us for 14 years, at our left overs and licked our tears when we cried.

She went down fast and our last night with her was so rough and painful for us both, for her physically and for us emotionally. There were seizures, bleeding, barks filled with pain. It breaks my heart. We spent the night next to her holding her paws through it all. When the vet finally opened, there was no question what we had to do. In weeks prior we carried her outside to pee, hand fed her, and got all types of her bodliy fluid on us. But I was happy to do it. In fact, I'd say it's the very least I could have done for all she did for me.

She brought so much joy to my heart and filled our house with love. I was always so proud of her, she was beautiful, she was obedient, she was friendly, she was loving, and she was mine. My baby. My best friend. And she's gone.

I once punched a guy on church property defending Molly after he had kicked her. I said the f word for the first time after a neighbor threatened her. If you knew her you'd understand ...she was a dog worth fighting for! I stuck up for her as if she was my own sister, because she was really an extention of the Daws family.

My favorite story about her is the time when we were living in Rome, GA and Dad was pastoring FSBC. We lived right next to the church and our dogs roamed free. One Sunday morning, Dad was preaching away and he looked up and saw Molly walk in and take a seat on a back pew. He kept it together and moved on and at the end of his sermon he found her fast asleep in the back of the church. Haha. That was her. Full of personality, I guess she woke up that morning and said to herself, "I think I'll go to church today." Here's what I think, she surrendered her life to Jesus that day and spent the next 14 years being a light in our home and to all she met. :P (j/k)

I will always treasure the memories I have with her and hold them close to my heart. She made a huge impact on my life and taught me to love others unconditionally, to be a loyal friend and family member, and to be an encourager.

I told her repeatedly throughout her life that she was never alloed to die. Never have I dreaded a death so much. All my life a sure fire way to make me cry was to think of her inevitable death. The only time I ever cry in movies is dog related, because of how much I even remember one time I was afraid to go down a zipline. The guide tried to convince me to do it by telling me to think of a loved one that needed to do it for. I thought for a while and down I went screaming, "Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly!!!" the whole way.

I loved her SO much. She will never be forgotten. I fully intend to have another dog one day, a beagle or a basset hound. It will not be a replacement for Molly, because that would be impossible. She was one of a kind. Instead, I will raise it as a role model for the perfect dog. If I have a little girl one day I would like to name her, Molly.

Thank you all for your kind words and for sending your love and prayers towards me and our family. And thank you God for the blessing of Molly Daws. She will be missed.

Molly Daws Video Tribute

2011-04-07T23:01:00.001-07:00

Molly Daws

May 7, 1997 - April 7, 2011

Today was a rough day.

Written blog to follow soon.

I miss her. :-/

She was the very best dog.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Complete!

2011-04-01T00:34:00.000-07:00

I SO enjoyed doing this. You should do it too. Here's the list below. I may try to do another one and use this site as a spring board. http://content.photojojo.com/tutorials/project-365-take-a-photo-a-day/

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

Day 04 - A picture of your night

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the craziest things with.

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity

Day 19 - A picture and a letter

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change

Day 25 - A picture of your day

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 30

2011-04-01T00:25:00.000-07:00

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

Megan Anderson. She is my bestest friend of all time. And she's been outside of the united states for FAR too long and I am NOT ok with it and she needs to come HOME asap. :D k, Megan?! I love her SO much! I just want to give her a big huge hug but sadly I cannot...at least until July.

PS. This picture reminds me of Dr. Lacy and Meet the Robinsons, "i haven't slept in 8 days!!" haha.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 29

2011-04-01T00:21:00.001-07:00

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile

Danielle Kidwell and David Bass-Clark. Oh how I love them. I miss the safari days and I'm so thankful for that part of my life. It was so great. Wouldn't trade it for anything. :D

This picture will always make me smile...haha they're so goofy! I love that! I say, the goofier the friend, the better.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 28

2011-03-31T23:57:00.001-07:00

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of

Wasting my life. I don't want to waste it. And I mean not to.

1 Corinthians 6:20

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 27

2011-03-30T20:15:00.000-07:00

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member

Me and Josh. I don't have many pictures with him or Jon...I guess they aren't really photo op kind of guys. This picture was taken in 2007 on the set of Dangerous Calling, Jer and Josh's feature film. What great memories! Josh is my oldest brother and he has a wonderful wife, Becca, and two amazing little boys, Grant and Hudson. He's a pretty silly guy behind closed doors. :)

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 26

2011-03-30T20:12:00.001-07:00

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you

My Disney World name tag. If I ever lose this I will be VERY upset. I keep this and my Disneyland name tag on my backpack. I am SO proud of this. It was such an honor to work there. :D one of the highlights of my life thus far.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 25

2011-03-30T19:42:00.000-07:00

Day 25 - A picture of your day

I spend the day at home with Molly. She is very sick. I've taken the rest of the week off to care for her. Please pray that she will have a peaceful death when it comes. She's been a part of my life since I was 10 years old. I've been dreading her death ever since she was born. :-/

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 24

2011-03-27T19:27:00.000-07:00

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change

Time. Sometimes I wish I could fast forward it, other times I wish I could slow it down. Then again there are also days I want to freeze it entirely and still other days I wish I could rewind it. Of course I'm so finicky about what I want concerning the subject, that it's a darn good thing that I'm not able to change it.

I read this verse today and I think it applies..."He has made everything beautiful in its time..." Ecclesiastes 3:11 So I don't need to worry :)

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 23

2011-03-27T18:49:00.000-07:00

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book

I don't have many favorite books. I should really read more. My bad. I'm working on that. I read The Barbarian Way a few years ago. It's a very inspiring book. :) Check it out.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 22

2011-03-24T15:19:00.000-07:00

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at

Dancing! :D I wish I could dance like Mary Tyler Moore, the people on High School Musical, Michael Jackson and his ensemble on Captain EO, or the guys on Newsies.

Whenever I watch stuff like that I get all jazzed up. I love watching, but sadly I have no rhythm. I love to dance for fun though, with low expectations.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 21

2011-03-23T16:12:00.000-07:00

Day 21 - A picture of something you hope you never forget

Life on the 4th floor of Bailey Mountain at Mars Hill College. My senior year of college was SO MUCH FUN! I miss living with Kristina, Kacie, and Karyn and constantly going down the hall and visiting our boys, Blaine, Vlad, Jared, and Waffles....and seeing Mikey, Reb, Stephen and whoever else would always be there. :D We had so many great people living on that hall! One big happy family. I miss all of you!! Thanks for all the laughs and good times.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 20

2011-03-22T20:32:00.000-07:00

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

I'd love to go to China to visit my lovely chinese sister, Amber Fu. She lives in Chengdu, China. So that's where I want to go. I love her SO much!! I miss so much about her and my life with her when we were roommates. She was SUCH a great roommate! We were so compatible! I miss her calling me, "stupid Jenny" in the most loving way anyone could ever say that. I miss her saying "so cute, so cute" all the time. I miss her talking about how beautiful she was all the time...hahaha. I miss her child-like personality. I miss the way she felt everything SO deeply. She has a big heart and I love that. :D I wish it weren't so hard to go from America to China. It stinks having such a great best friend living SO far away!! Thank you, God, for Skype.

Also always wanted to go to Egypt, but every since I can remember people have always said, "I would hate to be in Egypt right now..." and I supposed the same comment works today. Bummer.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 19

2011-03-21T23:11:00.000-07:00

Day 19 - A picture and a letter

Today's picture is brought to you by the letter "W". Words with Friends is a great app. It's basically like an ongoing, relaxed scrabble game with your friends. My user name is jennylove. Here's a tip. When you're stuck, remember that "Xi" and "Qi" are words. Use them wisely. :)

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 18

2011-03-21T22:37:00.001-07:00

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity

My completion. Argh..no fun. I thought break outs ended after puberty. I wonder what God was trying to teach me when he "blessed" me with oily combination skin.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 17

2011-03-20T22:23:00.001-07:00

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

At the end of last year I was feeling pretty low. I was at the end of my rope. In a desperate attempt to find something to be excited about in 2011 I signed up for Passion 2011 that took place on January 1-4th. Those were perhaps the best 4 days of my life.

Passion is a christian conference/movement of young adults whose desire and hope is for the name and renown of Jesus Christ. In other words: a bunch of crazy kids on fire for God. It was amazing. Every sermon was precisely what I needed to hear, as if the speakers were speaking directly to me and my issues. I worked through a lot of crap. I guess you could say...I was like a lost sheep...I had lost my way...and Jesus came and found me at Passion 2011 and changed my life. :D My life has been impacted and altered. I am SO blessed.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 16

2011-03-18T19:22:00.000-07:00

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

Walt Disney. It was either him or Louie Giglio. But I know Louie Giglio would not appreciate that because he'd rather me just put up a picture of Jesus...which I thought about but...I didn't want to go with the "Sunday school" answer.

Just think, Walt Disney dreamed up SO much of what I love in this world. That's so cool. What a cheery guy! He created SUCH a truly magical legacy. I believe in it his dream so much! He inspires me by all that he created! I'm so thankful for his life and his dream! :)

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 15

2011-03-17T19:18:00.000-07:00

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

If at all possible, God, I'd like to get married and start a family before I die...ya know...if you get a chance...it'd be nice...but only whenever you think I'm ready. Kthanksbai.

Excuse the cheesy clip art, though I think it's kinda cute. :P Except that I'm SO not into red heads!!....If it happens...send me a brunette, God. :) And the man I marry would never wear that tacky outfit with the french flare. Also I think the picture should have a beagle at our feet. And I'd like that pretty green dress in real life too. :P

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 14

2011-03-17T19:15:00.000-07:00

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Dad! We'd all be lost without him. He's a big goofball half the time. The best is when we playfully insult each other with things like, "stink face" and "shut up your face!" :D He's a great guy. You mess with him and I'm coming for you. So watch your back! :P

So thankful to God for such a great Dad!

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 13

2011-03-15T15:38:00.001-07:00

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist

Billy Joel. For my whole life, no matter what season or mood I am in, I've loved me some Billy Joel. SO good. Timeless.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 12

2011-03-15T15:32:00.000-07:00

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

Of course I love many things...but this was the first thing that popped into my head. Country Time Lemonade. Hehe...It's like liquid candy.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 11

2011-03-15T15:29:00.000-07:00

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate

It took me a while to come up with this one. Mostly because there are not many things that I hate. And the things that I dislike are too many to narrow down to just one thing. The only things I strongly dislike are intangible things that would be way too hard to capture in a picture or narrow down.

So here is one of the insignificant things that I hate: the clanging of pots and pans. HATE IT.

Whenever mom gets pots out for cooking, I get very irritated and loudly proclaim, "when I grow up and get married, I'm never using pots and pans!!!!" To which she always replies with some smart comment about how that would be impossible. Argh. Worst noise EVER!

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 10

2011-03-12T19:06:00.001-08:00

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the craziest things with.

Sara Bryant. She’s always smooooth like Dr. Pepper. We were the bright and shining rebel twins of Disneyland. It doesn’t get much crazier than that. Crazy for Disney, crazy for guest service, crazy for God. When we’re together we’re pretty darn nutty. I can always let my craziness show through when I’m with her. She doesn’t stifle my crazy side and that makes her so much more fun to be around! I love her! And I miss her SO stinkin much! “Buzz and Woody, Woody and Buzz, Buzz and Woody and Woody and Buzz!!” hehe.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 9

2011-03-12T19:02:00.000-08:00

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

Although I have many amazing best friends that I have made in different stages in life and during all of my adventures…none have been with me for the duration of my life like my mom and my dog have been. My mom and Molly have always been there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. I love them! No matter where I am in the house, if I start to cry, Molly finds me and licks the tears off my face and paws at me. She really loves me and I realllly love her. As great as Molly is, usually mom has already made it to my rescue before Molly. They’re a dynamic duo of love and care when I need it most. ☺

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 8

2011-03-12T18:48:00.000-08:00

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

Here is a picture of my nephew, Grant, last Halloween. He made this face when he tried his first sour patch kid ever. Teeheehee. You should see the video…it’s even better. I love that kid!!

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 7

2011-03-08T15:20:00.000-08:00

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

My t-shirt quilt and matching pillow. I made them one summer while I was in college. I set out to do it one day, took on the huge project, and got it done in a very short amount of time. I don't like being tied down by instructions that tend to stifled my creativity so I didn't sew it the normal quilt way or look up instructions, I just figured it all out by myself and sewed it all together in my own way. I love this quilt because I was so passionate about the idea and I enjoyed the process of making it so much. It's like a picture of who I am, because most of my interests, views, beliefs, and basically... my life are represented in it through t-shirts. It's a constant reminder of how blessed I am. Each piece of the quilt has a story attached to it in some way. One day if I do get married, I think it would be cool to sit down with my future husband and tell him the stories behind all of the shirts...if he'd listen. If our house were on fire I'd make sure to grab my quilt before I ran out the door!...and also all of my many journals and diaries through the years.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 6

2011-03-08T15:15:00.000-08:00

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

I would LOVE to be a guest relations VIP tour guide one day. Or at least for a single day. Look at their cute little outfits! What a great honor it would be to be a guest relations cast member. I would take SUCH great pride in it. I love being cheery and friendly. It would be the PERFECT "Jenny job". Maybe one day.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 5

2011-03-06T19:57:00.000-08:00

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

There are far too many favorite memories and most of them are not documented. But this one seems to sum up a whole big collection of memories.

This is me eating a soft serve chocolate ice cream cone with marsh mellows on it, with my friends, on a spring afternoon, in the cafeteria at Mars Hill College in North Carolina. Bliss. I miss those days. Also this was in the era of Megan Anderson as my roomie. It was like Mars Hill: The Early Years, Original fab five small group. It seems like soooo long ago. I loved my college years. I wish that life were still so close knit like it was at Mars Hill. Eating in the caf or Lions Den was always my favorite part of the day because of the camaraderie among all the students, staff, and professors. One big family. :)

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 4

2011-03-05T21:29:00.000-08:00

Day 4: A picture of your night.

I was not sure if this meant a picture of a typical night or my night from specifically tonight. If it were a typical night it would be a picture of me, mom, and dad with snacks and blankets on the couch watching tv or a movie. But I think it probably means tonight. I am a nanny and I was working tonight. So this is a picture of a fort that I made. I'm starting to pride myself on my awesome forts. I know it's past midnight and my picture is late but that kind of also sums up my night because I had to work later than originally planned. But that's ok because I got to watch Peter Pan. :)

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 3

2011-03-04T09:46:00.001-08:00

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

Full House! I own every episode. I'm in love with Uncle Jesse. I grew up with this show. Watching it brings me great joy!

This one was hard because I could have also put up the cast of Parenthood, Family Ties, Arrested Development, or the Dick Van Dyke Show. It was a tough decision.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 2

2011-03-03T15:42:00.000-08:00

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

Kristin Wood. We've been best buddies for years since I was around 15 years old. She knows me and my family very well and we've been through a change in address together which bonds us even further. She was there to welcome me home to Georgia after my disney times. She's the best and I love her! I don't see her or talk to her nearly enough, but deep down we are always connected by our deep seeded silliness and various embarrassing mishaps through the years! :) She's like a sister to me! Ask her to tell you the story of her trip to the grand canyon sometime...teeheehee..

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 1

2011-03-02T13:16:00.000-08:00

Day 01. A picture of yourself with ten facts.

1. My middle name is Love and I LOVE that.
2. I'll be 24 soon and that freaks me out.
3. In this picture, I'm wondering if I should cut my bangs again or continue to let them grow out with the rest of my hair.
4. I can't do a cartwheel...and that's ok! hehe.
5. I love that I was a cast member at Disney...I'm so proud of that and I feel so blessed.
6. I enjoy pretending and doing anything considered child-like. Like making tents or having picnics outside or looking at stars or playing with bubbles.
7. I enjoy drawing pictures/making collages or writing in my journal whenever I get inspired. I've been very inspired lately...
8. I love Jesus...and He's really the whole point of why I'm here...not really sure yet what He wants me to dedicate my life to yet tho. But I'm in the process of trying to figure that out.
9. I don't ever want to "grow up"
10. If I had a super power I would want to have Spiderman's powers mixed with Superman's ability to fly. If I could have a superhero I would want Spiderman with Clark Kent (Tom Welling from Smallville) as his secret identity instead of Peter Parker haha.

Valentine's Day Words

2011-02-21T21:15:00.000-08:00

I wrote this very short journal entry in my personal journal on Valentine's Day. I've been feeling like it's something I should share on here.

"My last few valentine's days have been pretty horrible. Today I am happy to report that my heart is NOT broken and the hands that hold the world are holding my heart! I will be safe in HIS arms. "

That's all I wrote, because after I stopped to re-read what I had written, I was speechless. That might not seem like a huge deal to anyone else but for me...knowing myself better than anyone else of course...It's a huge deal. It's so neat just to see how my perspective has changed and how I've grown and gone from the lowest of low in the last 2 years to, maybe not the highest of high, but I'm definitely in a far better place now. :) God is good. There is hope for change and renewal.

There you have it.

Kinda Krazy for Kindness!

2011-02-20T05:30:00.000-08:00

Check out another wild and crazy video blog full of silliness!!

Eternal Optimist Vlog 26!!

2011-02-19T10:34:00.000-08:00

Check out my latest video blog!

Where to go...

2011-01-11T18:36:00.000-08:00

California: My parents are going to visit the family out there in March. It would be nice to go.

China: I have a huge passion for China. I miss Amber Fu and all my Chinese friends so bad. I think about them so often. I really care about what happens to them

Uganda: My church is going on a mission trip to Uganda. I do love Africa. I would love to go back. I wish I could go back to Liberia. Our church has an orphanage in Uganda and it does sound pretty awesome to go there and see it and meet the kids who life there. Plus I've never been on a mission trip with my parents before. It could be a pretty great opportunity.

New York City: I went on a mission trip to NYC to work with the homeless a few years back. I thoroughly enjoyed that trip. I have a huge desire to go back.

Here's the deal: Cost isn't even really what I'm worried about. What I'm worried about is WHERE to go! I don't want to go forward with any of these trips without God's leading. I know once He leads me in a direction I can send out support letters and whatnot and God will fund the trip. I just need to know WHERE to go. I'm refusing to let the money issue stop me from pursuing one of these areas. I just don't want to go to Uganda just cause it's what my parents are doing or anything like that. I want it to be because God leads me there. Who knows, maybe I'm not supposed to go anywhere. I need to save my money, i don't want to waste any of it this year. Any help praying for direction would be greatly appreciated. Thanks :)

Hmm: In 5 years?!

2011-01-11T17:50:00.000-08:00

At Passion Andy Stanley said that we should write out where we'd like to be in the next five years and then make every effort not to give into our appetites or to let them rule over us so that we can attain those goals.

Here goes...

In five years I will be.... 29 years old. OH MY GOSH. ....let me just let that sink in for a sec....... Dude. I hadn't calculated that before.

In that case, I really hope I'm married or at least engaged or in a serious relationship! I hope I'm an elementary school teacher (at Trinity perhaps!). I hope that I have gone to China and back to New York City. I don't want to be a mom yet. But I would probably start trying to have kids before I turn 32-ish. Because I definitely want kids!

Actually about being a wife...I have been thinking, even though I've definitely seen how hard it can be to be a wife of a man in the ministry, I would really love it if God allowed me to be a pastor or missionaries wife. How cool would it be to live in another country and raise a family on such radical faith?! Sounds so exciting. But on the flip side, how quaint would it be to raise a family at one church (no moving around!!) and enjoy the comforts of a close knit church family and coming up with lots of cool events and fellowship opportunities for the church to grow close as a family?!

If I don't live where I am now, then I hope I either live in Mars Hill, North Carolina; Orlando, FL; or some other country or some place exciting like Hawaii. I hope I still act young even though I am more mature in a lot of ways. I hope I am a joy to be around with a cheerful/friendly attitude and encouraging people around me. I hope if I am married that I don't depend on my husband for my source of joy, but on God alone.

I hope I am godly. I hope I have learned how to cook and sew and how to do other womanly things. I hope I'm not uptight or nagging or obnoxious or anything! I hope I have a great outlook on life. I hope I am doing something that I'm passionate about and working with people. God has given me a desire to be a wife and mother, I hope I am either on my way to full-filling that or if not that I am patient or if it's not gonna happen that God has taken that desire away.

BUT if all of that doesn't happen in 5 years. It's ok. I'm sure God has a good reason for it, after all these are MY plans, not HIS, there's no telling where I'll actually be in 5 years. My life so far has been great, but definitely completely different than I had ever planned or imagined. So I know from experience that God knows EXACTLY what He's doing and He doesn't need my help. So it's cool. I really don't have to worry.

Goals/Prayer for 2011

2011-01-11T17:31:00.000-08:00

Goals/Prayers for 2011:

• That I would not forget the things I learned at Passion
- “My struggle is one of the greatest signs that I’m alive.”
- “I’m not chained down by my circumstances, it is possible to be fully alive and joy filled no matter what circumstances I
am in.”
- “I’ve got to frequently tune everything out except for God and take time for ONE thing.”
- Constantly renew my mind and don’t let my mind go down the same old paths.
- I have no idea what God could do with me if I surrender my will and my appetites.
- “Come to Jesus to get JESUS!”
- Christ needs to be at the bottom of everything I do, like a fountain. He is the motivation; everything should spring up
from Him.
- Do not awaken love before it’s time.
- Don’t let my ideas for serving God dethrone Him.
- Take time for Him.

• Direction and money for any mission trips I am supposed to go on this year. (Uganda, Dominican, NYC, China? Who
knows..)
• Slow down my mind about finding a husband. Give me patience and help me roll with the punches.
• Favor on me in my pursuit of teaching. Direction.
• Opportunities to see far away friends and to share Christ love with them.
• Help me to know what to do with my various passions.

Friends that I really feel like God wants me to pray for this year:

Kristina Donahue (Soon to be Saunders..yay!), Megan Anderson, Brittany Findley Cason, Amanda Lewan, Misako Harada, Danielle Kidwell, Amber FU!, Sara Bryant, Kristin Wood, Macey Reynolds, Hayley West, Luci West, Cassi Bush, Christine Smith, Stephanie Selman, Whitney Barton, Barbara Farnham, David Bass-Clark, Alec Frey, Mike Cook, Carter Lewelyn, Ben Farnham, Blaine Ellis, Patrick Griffith.

If you find your name on the list don't feel weird-ed out. It just means you really truly mean SO much to me and I very much care about you and what happens in your life whether or not you are religious or not or we have talked recently or not or known each other for very long or not. If I can't be near you all, the least I can do is remember to pray for you and that God will give you the desires of your heart and keep you encouraged in 2011! If you don't find your name on the list, don't worry i care very much about you too (i just can't list every single person or else there would be no point in a list...God just kinda inspired me to write one). Write me and let me know what I can pray for you this next year!

What are your goals for 2011?

My Life Montage

2011-01-10T18:28:00.000-08:00

Here's a montage of my life over the past few years and my new insights on all of it. If you don't watch any of my other videos, at least watch this one. I feel like it's the most important thus far.

Passion Video Blog 2

2011-01-10T17:07:00.000-08:00

Here's part 2 of my update about Passion!

Passion Video Blog 1

2011-01-10T11:53:00.001-08:00

Check out my video blog update about Passion. I learned so much and had so much to say that I had to cut it into two parts. This is part one :)

Passion 2011: Jesus

2011-01-06T01:38:00.000-08:00

I went to Passion 2011. Jesus. He. Blew. My. Mind.

Today was my first day back to normal life. And my mind is still blown. I know that everyone probably has a slight skepticism about all my talk about Passion, that I'm just on a high from a conference or that I'm being showy. But I swear to you that for the first time in my life I get it. I get that the only thing that matters in life in Jesus and carrying His name. Nothing else matters. Like...nothing. And I get that it's not about me searching for Joy and then finding it in Jesus Christ. It's definitely unspeakable joy, but that's not what it's about. It's about Jesus. It's about God and how freakin amazing He is. Period.

I feel overwhelmed. Like I have all these thoughts, ideas, feelings, that my mind is still spinning. There are so many things I have on a to do list in my head right now about what I need to do, make, start, say, people I need to talk to, friends I need to share Christ with, etc. I don't even know where to begin. I've been at a loss recently about my "famous" (haha) video blogs. I started them when I was going to be doing the Disney College Program in order to chronicle my experiences. But now that it has ended I didn't know what to blog about anymore. Before the theme was Disney. I think now the blog should just be about Jesus. Period. I'm not exactly sure what that will look like but the wheels in my head are spinning. I enjoy making the blogs, though they are usually ridiculous, but I wonder what amount of good I could do if they were all about praising God. Maybe just about things I discover in my walk with God that I feel I need to share with the world (or at least the handful of people who may happen to find them on youtube).

I have all these ideas and I have a tendency to get over-excited when I get hair-brained schemes like this one and all the others that have come to me in the past few days, but God brought something to my mind the other night. I wrote this in my journal, "Don't give me an idea that becomes so "good" that it dethrones you" In other words I don't want my foundation/motivation to just be a great idea to occupy my time, I want the foundation to be Jesus and have all my ideas spring from that FOR HIM. I don't want to lose sight of the point and forget to renew my mind so that I can keep my heart, mind, and soul in the right place because I could definitely see that happening. So please pray for me in that. If I don't make a conscious effort to keep my mind in the right place then my heart will be turned and my actions will not be God centered. I've got to keep my thoughts under control and replace my natural thoughts that take me down harmful paths with Holy thoughts that come from God's word. And I can't just stop there. I have to keep the air ways of communication open between me and God. This has always been something I struggle with. Forgetting to pray. So pray that I will be able to "pray without ceasing".

I am just blown away knowing (and being the only one who really truly knows) how incredibly low I was going into Passion and just for the longest time and in contrast now knowing the incredible way I've been feeling ever since January 1, 2011, 1-1-11 really was the "night of new beginnings" I keep seeing God do amazing things in me and around me and I know it could not be on my own strength, it is so totally Jesus inside of me transforming my heart. It's just like, The. Best. Feeling. Ever. Ahh I could keep talking but I think you get the point. If you get a chance check out a song called "Beautiful Things" by a band called Gungor. It's stuck in my head. It says, "you make beautiful things out of the dirt." What a beautiful thought. And it's true. I feel like that one thought inspires like about a million ideas for art projects and collages...so expect a new video blog and a new collage on the way soon. :)

Jesus. Because nothing else matters.

Things

2010-12-21T23:17:00.000-08:00

Things and people to be thankful for from 2010:

• Amber Fu
• Megan Anderson
• Sara Bryant
• Alec Frey
• Mike Cook
• J.A.M.A.L.
• Autopians such as Lauren, Alyssa, Rachel, Nykole, Gabe, Ryan, Martha, Randy, Jerome, Handy Manny, etc.
• Sovereign Grace Church for being so great to me in California
• Pomegranate Pick Me Up at Jamba Juice in CA.
• Dudley Baptist Church
• Cassi Bush
• The entire West Family!
• DBC Kids!...Every last one of them!!!
• Getting to be a PK (Pastor’s Kid) again!
• Jeannie Haag
• Encouraging songs such as Haven’t Met You Yet – Michael Buble, Count on Me by Bruno Mars, and Meant to Be by Steven Curtis Chapman.
• Gaining a nephew-Hudson!
• Gaining a sister in law-Mallory!
• Great Family and my dad is healthy!
• My dog-Molly!!!!
• Blackbird Coffee
• Comforts of HOME
• I’m home for Christmas!! Last year almost killed me being away!!
• Special friends such as Danielle Kidwell, David Bass-Clark, Amanda Lewan, Misako Harada, Carter Lewellyn, Blaine Ellis, Macey Reynolds, Lexi Selleck, Kristina Donohue, Brittany Findley, Kirsten Quatela Kristin Wood, etc. (I’ll try to keep in touch better next year…I do think of you often even if it doesn’t seem like it sometimes)
• This year is finally ending…haha…I’m ready for a fresh start.

Things to look forward to in 2011:

• New beginnings.
• Passion ‘11
• The lessons I’m bound to learn
• The plans God will reveal
• Quality time with Mom and Dad
• Being settled into a great church
• Possibly going on a mission trip to Uganda
• Possibly going to kids camp with the DBC kids
• Possibly getting a teaching job or at least subbing

Things I’d like to do at some point:

• Live in Mars Hill, North Carolina again one day.
• Be a Disney Cast Member again one day
• Get married!
• Have at least one boy and one girl
• Own a sheepdog
• Go to Egypt
• Regularly go dancing
• Go to CHINA to visit Amber Fu!!
• Learn to cook
• Finally master the art of maintaining a consistent spiritual life
• Learn how to control my emotions
• Go on another mission trip to NYC!
• Regularly go horseback riding
• Regularly go roller skating
• Regularly go rock climbing
• Watch every movie featured at the end of The Great Movie Ride at Disney’s Hollywood Studios

And there are many more…but my computer is dying. I may add more later ☺

The end of 2010.

2010-12-21T22:46:00.000-08:00

The following blog post is full of honesty. I have no secrets. Maybe I should, but I’m not very good at keeping them for long, so why bother.

In some ways it seems like this year flew right by and in others ways it seemed like it would never come to an end.

This year has been full of ups and downs for me. Perhaps it could be labeled the most emotional year of my life thus far. My apologies to anyone caught in the crossfire. Somehow or another this year seems to have slipped by me without my consent. Though, I guess they all do that.

I haven’t written in here much. I have to confess it’s mostly because I haven’t been living up to my title of “eternal optimist” I’ve been more of an “eternal pessimist” this year. Which also explains why I’ve been somewhat distant with pretty much all of my friends in the past few months. My apologies for that, as well. I know it’s selfish. Though I may not have been in tip-top shape, perhaps my friends needed me, and yet I stayed distant worried about my own problems. Next year I want to be a more of a whole and stable person so that I will be able to be a better friend to others.

Honestly I sometimes feel so overwhelmed by all the “catching” up I feel I should be doing with all my friends who live in a wide variety of places. I guess it’s a good problem to have. I have so many friends that I find it hard to manage them all! ☺ I consider nearly 10 different girls “best friends” with special significance in my life. Definitely future bridesmaids material! That’s definitely a blessing.

To be honest, a lot of my bad attitude lately comes from my insecurities about my situation in life right now. I just feel kind of out of place. I don’t have a real concrete path that I’m following. Twenty-three is an odd age. I’m not a college student anymore, but I don’t really consider myself a full-fledged adult either. As much as I have great friends around the world, I don’t have many in my current situation. I want buddies to go do stuff with. I’m still somewhat new here and I’m not really plugged in yet with people my age. I live at home with my parents, which is fun, and I feel like it’s the place for me right now and I’m very thankful for it. But I tend to feel somewhat embarrassed by my over-all situation. I really hate the question, “what do you do?” Because I don’t really know how to answer it right now.

Frustrating Things I’ve Learned or Realized This Year:

• I’m SO not in control of …well…anything.
• Life is hard and confusing when you grow up.
• Things definitely don’t EVER turn how I plan; yet somehow I still keep on trying to plan.
• As much of a people person as I am, when I have issues, I usually keep to myself. . I feel it’s best to keep myself hidden away when I’m not at my best. Which is silly since that is when I should call on my friends for encouragement I suppose.
• I seem to be completely unable to control my emotions. When I’m sad it shows, when I’m happy it shows. It’s a curse. Seems that most other people are able to hide when they need to, not me.
• I have trouble with communication when it comes to important serious conversations. I tend to avoid them…because I can’t help but wear my heart on my sleeve and I don’t want to cry.
• I’ve become an expert at beating myself up. I’m trying fix this I think this is somehow related to my newfound pessimism.

Things I need to pray for:

• PATIENCE! I have like…zero.
• The ability to find joy in seemingly negative situations.
• Giving up control.
• Direction. I really have no idea where I’m headed.
• That God would grant me the desire of my heart. (I tend to worry about it instead of praying about it)
• That I would recognize God’s love for me even when I fail instead of beating myself up.

I know I just need to trust God and be patient. Everything in my life right now is happening for a reason and I know God has SOMETHING brewing for me. I just have no idea what it is. But I definitely felt the need to COME HOME after the Disney College Program. I just got caught up in “having fun” in California (and also in Florida) that I got off the right path. Any negative feelings towards that time in my life have nothing to do with anyone besides myself. I just needed to regroup and I needed to be in a good environment right now. I’m glad I can live with my parents and go to Dudley Baptist Church while I wait for God to show me what I’m meant to be doing or where I’m meant to go. My most favorite thing about my life right now is my church.

I’ve felt strongly about possibly becoming an elementary school teacher in the past few months after working a lot with the great kids at church. In the New Year I will start off by exploring my options in that area.

Today I was thinking about the great experience I had at the Passion ’06 Christian conference 5 years ago right before I went away to college. I checked into signing up for Passion ’11 and come to find out my church already has a group going! So I signed up! I’m excited!! What a great way to start out the New Year!

Global Perspective.

2010-11-08T14:45:00.000-08:00

I received news today that one of the young girls, Williette Henries, that I met in Liberia in 2008 passed away due to illness on Wednesday. So sad. Definitely puts things into perspective...

Williette and me.

This song shuffled on my ipod today:

Do They Know It's Christmas Time -

"There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dreaded fear.
Where the only water flowing is a bitter sting of tears
And there won't be snow in Africa this christmas time
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows
No rain or rivers flow
Do they know it's christmas time at all?"

I went back and looked through my photos from my mission trip to Africa. I found a video of her. So depressing. People go on mission trips, encourage the people for a few short days, and then in most cases never see them again or have really even much opportunity to keep in touch or help them from so far away! It's so easy to slip back into our daily American lives and forget what we saw and experienced in other countries. I'm not sure how to combat this. How can you keep a constant global perspective and prevent yourself from becoming self-centered on your own life and country?

The more I live my life and go on my adventures the more contact I make with people from other countries. I love that. I hope that it is helping me have a wider world view. In the past year I've kinda fallen in love with the chinese. Literally ha. :P I lived with Amber Fu from January until August. I've also had the pleasure of hanging out with a few other chinese people that I met from the Disney College Program. Most of them are back in China now. I still get to skype with Amber. I love her so much. I refuse to lose touch with her. Beyond that my best friend Megan Anderson is living in South Korea teaching English. I like having friends in/from other countries. I'm enjoying learning all about chinese culture from Junchen.

Amber Fu!!

Megan Anderson

Skyping with Junchen

Disney Parks -- Disney Vacation Memories

2010-09-23T13:26:00.000-07:00

The newest Disney Parks campaign is such a great idea. Watch this video. It made me cry :P

Epic Life 2

2010-09-17T20:16:00.000-07:00

Here's an update on my life. Check out my latest video blog with an all new intro!

I'm Home! New Video Blog.

2010-08-20T22:23:00.000-07:00

I'm Home!

Check out my latest video blog. I discuss the end of the Disney College Program and what's next for me.

One year as a Cast Member.

2010-07-25T12:48:00.000-07:00

Hello!

I have recently made the decision to leave the Walt Disney Company for a time after my college program ends. It was a very hard decision. But it was mine to make. I am SO glad I did it. I have thoroughly enjoyed this year inside the company from coast to coast. I have learned so much. I am not at all closing the book on Disney. I just know that I need a break from the insanity that comes along with being a Cast Member. I will miss all the perks and making the magic, but I think I will be back so it's not as if I'm saying goodbye forever.

I know that my decision may have come as a shock to anyone who keeps up with my life. Here's a brief synopsis of what went on in my head: First I really wanted to stay with the company, but I knew I needed a break. When I went home for my brother's wedding, I applied to Georgia College and State University (GCSU). I then applied to be a Disney College Program Campus Representative, allowing myself time off, while remaining a Cast Member and getting to live at home. I would give myself a break and take some French classes (a passion that has been on the back burner for far too long). Then I'd go back to Walt Disney World in January after I was sufficiently refreshed. The perfect plan!

When I found out that there were already too many campus reps at GCSU, I was devastated. My perfect plan was ruined. What would I do?! I e-mailed the head of the Disney College Program who made an exception and decided to let me in for the "full" fall session of the program at Walt Disney World. I was soooo excited. She made an exception for ME!? WOW. I am eternally grateful. I miss Walt Disney World so much, this really was a dream come true. I was all set to go. Still feeling like I needed a break, but trying to cover the feeling with my excitement for Walt Disney World.

Then I had a set back. After many realizations and frustrations in my current role, my eyes were opened and my heart got a little broken. I know I've always put the company on a pedestal. The realities of big business and politics hit hard. Anyways now I know that being a Cast Member or an employee for any company is really what you make of it and you have to take the good with the bad. I can't be bitter just cause I had a few set backs. I know what the company stands for and was built on and NO ONE can destroy that for me, no matter how much corruption, bad attitudes, and naysayers I run into along the way. It was a painfully good lesson for me to learn. I will always love the Walt Disney Company! I won't let anyone else destroy the magic for me.

This lesson came at the perfect time, just before I had to make my final decision about whether or not I'd return to WDW for a 3rd and final college program. On that same day I got my acceptance letter to GCSU. I had already been toying around with the idea of backing out. I think my set back made me re-evaluate. It allowed me to open my mind to other avenues and life outside of Disney. When you are a Cast Member, it's as if you eat, breath, and sleep Disney. It's easy to forget about the world around you. I have sacrificed a lot in the last year and put a lot of things on hold. I think my set back and good advice from family and friends gave me the freedom to let go of Disney. After much deliberation, I logged onto the Disney College Program website and clicked, "decline".

I recently worked the 55th anniversary of Disneyland and then went into the park to celebrate with my family. Cast Members and characters rushed out and sang an danced to "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" in front of the train station. I shed a tear that day, I have had the best time of my life so far working for the Walt Disney Company. My last day will be exactly one year from my original hire date. It is bittersweet, but I am confident that I am doing exactly what is best for me at this time.

If I am supposed to continue my career within the Walt Disney Company, God CAN and WILL work it out. I don't need to be holding onto the things that I love so tightly anyways. I don't think that's healthy. So I think letting go was the wise decision.

I am coming home. *biggest sigh of relief ever...followed by an extremely peaceful feeling*

Vlog 22

2010-07-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

Check out my latest video blog filled with tips, updates, and encouraging words.

Haven't Met You Yet

2010-06-06T17:35:00.001-07:00

This is my absolute favorite song right now.

Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble

I love these lyrics, they perfectly describe how I feel:

"I've broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track...

...I might have to wait, I'll never give up.

I guess it's half timing,

and the other half's luck.

Wherever you are, whenever it's right,

You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility
And somehow I know that it'll all turn out.

...And I promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah, I just haven't met you yet."

It's June ALREADY!?

2010-06-05T00:11:00.000-07:00

Hello World.

A lot has happened since I last wrote to you. I work at Autopia at Disneyland, I go to Sovereign Grace Church and Rock Harbor church when I can, I started a bible study that meets in my living room, I have some pretty cool friends here, I have started learning to swing dance, my brother Jon got married to Mallory, I went home for 8 days and got to see my amazing family, my dog, and two of my bestest friends in the whole world.

I am nearing the end of my college program. 8 months really wasn't that long after all. Though I really value the experience I am gaining here, I am finding out more and more that I left my heart at Walt Disney World. It's where all of my Disney enthusiasm was born and It's where I fell in love with the Walt Disney Company. It's the place I want to pursue. I miss working at Kilimanjaro Safaris, I miss going to Jelly Rolls, I miss going to Epcot and eating at Sunshine Seasons, I miss going to property control, I miss looking at the pin books at guest relations in each park, I miss Philharmagic, I miss all the weird little things.

I don't know when or how or by what means I will migrate back to Walt Disney World, but it's what I've got my heart set on right now. We'll see what happens and what God has to say about it. I'm trying to keep all my options open though. I'll try to keep you posted.

I have been having some technical difficulties with my video blog but I think I got them all worked out and I've uploaded a few videos. They are a little rough around the edges but I wanted to just hurry up and get some out there because I've had a lot of footage with guest stars lately that I needed to go ahead and put online. So check them out if you're looking for some entertainment, here.

So, my brother Jer has informed me that I should write more about my life as a cast member. What does the general public want to know about it? It's hard to know what to write about because I am in the middle of it so I don't often think about what is now second nature to me. Any questions or topics that anyone would like to hear more about?

Horrible blogger.

2010-04-25T11:17:00.000-07:00

I've been a horrible blogger lately.

This is my formal apology.

More to come soon.

I'm Almost There!

2010-02-19T10:33:00.000-08:00

For years I've watched my brothers with their passions for film and music. I've always admired that about them. But I've always felt left out, because I have never been able to find MY "thing". I've always wondered what my talent was. All the things I seem to be good at aren't really all that tangible, things like: talking to people, making new friends, being positive, encouraging others, making others feel special and welcome. Those are all nice things but when someone asks you what your talent is, they are usually looking for something like, "I play guitar" or "I'm a writer". What am I supposed to say?

I've been working for disney for 6 months and I've figured out that I LOVE it! I love making magic. I love being kind to people and brightening their days. I love talking with random strangers about nothing while they are waiting in line. I love telling kids that the light on top of the Matterhorn is actually the light of the fire coming from Minnie and Mickey's winter cabin, not a pilot light for airplanes. It's the PERFECT job for me. It all makes sense. I am so passionate about preserving the disney heritage of magic and innocence in the parks and even the world, so that everyone can continue to enjoy it and gain joy from it for years to come, just like I have been able to throughout my life time.

I have NEVER been a competitive person but this passion has lit a fire under me that is bringing my previously nonexistant competitive nature to light. It's all pretty new to me but, I kinda like it! I make magic. Well..actually Walt Disney created the magic in 1955. I preserve magic. I'm in the business of magic preservation. I'm a biologist with a concentration in preservation. Hehe. I want to rise higher and higher in the company so that I can share my ideas and my passion with others to stimulate them to be magic preservers and creators too.

I was recently in Disneyland by myself...because I decided to start a little project of studying each land and learning about every inch of it. I happened to stumble upon the end of The Princess and the Frog show. I didn't really like this movie at first, but after watching Princess Tiana sing "Almost There" now that I've becoming so passionate about my own career, I decided to give it another chance. I feel just like Princess Tiana trying so hard to work towards her dream. Watch this video and be encouraged :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAVM-vwX8Pk

Mama! I don't have time for dancing!

That's just gonna have to wait a while
Ain't got time for messing around
And it's not my style
This old town can slow you down
People taking the easy way
But I know exactly where I'm going
Getting closer and closer every day

And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
People down here think I'm crazy, but I don't care
Trials and tribulations, I've had my share
There ain't nothing gonna stop me now cause I'm almost there

I remember Daddy told me: Fairytales can come true
You gotta make 'em happen, it all depends on you"
So I work real hard each and every day
Now things for sure are going my way
Just doing what I do
Look out boys, I'm coming through

And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
People gonna come here from everywhere
And I'm almost there
I'm almost there

There's been trials and tribulations
You know I've had my share
But I've climbed the mountain, I've crossed the river
And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
I'm almost there!

Womanhood.

2010-02-14T12:11:00.000-08:00

I am thoroughly enjoying my new life in Anaheim, CA. I feel like I am finally getting settled somewhere and everything is falling into place.

I feel like I'm getting all my "ducks in a row". I've got my career at Disney and I'm in super networking mode. I've got a great church with some cool new Christian friends to encourage me spiritually. I'm starting this exciting Bible study for other college program students and lots of people have shown interested. My roommates are amazing. Life in this apartment building is so great. I wish I could just keep living here til I settle down with someone, because it's such a great set up. I love this area. I have been noticing some pretty cute apartments and tiny houses for rent up the road. I'm such a planner, I already want to start looking into the cost and planning out my life after August. It's so easy for me to get ahead of myself sometimes. WAYYYY ahead.

I am also actually enjoying keep our apartment tidy. For the first time in my life, I take great pleasure in doing the dishes. Also I've started to eat like a normal person, planning normal meals. One of my favorite things to do lately is make dinner after work for some of our neighbors. I find that having someone to cook for really motivates me. Otherwise I don't always see the point in spending so much time on one dish. I am having a good time planning out my meals and what I'm going to eat and shopping for food (except for the prices!).

With my career, networking, church, cleaning, cooking and paying more attention to my finances, I haven't really been giving myself much time for fun. I'm kind of addicted to productivity.

It's so cool that I'm so motivated lately, although I know I need to find a balance and let myself relax and enjoy time with friends and build relationships from time to time.

Also I know I've been putting productivity and my career above my time spent with God. Those are definitely things I need to work on.

I have felt for a long time that my "spiritual gift" is encouragement. I think I need to focus my attention on that more and see how I can be more actively using this gift to bring glory to God.

Over all I am loving that my time is full, I'm becoming more responsible, I'm buckling down, and even my thoughts are more adult like lately. I was giving some friends dating advice and I could not believe the words coming out of my mouth the other day. I'm thinking more realistically and rationally, or at least I'm trying to.

OH and I've even stopped biting my finger nails! ...Will I be able to last? I hope so! I'm doing good. I think this is the sure fire clincher that I've become a full-fledged woman :) haha.

In the words of Anne Margaret on Bye Bye Birdie, "How lovely to be a woman like me!!"

Thank you God for helping me to be more diligent and responsible! Help me to keep it up!!

One last note...I would just like to say that Megan Anderson is one of the best friends I've ever had in my life and she has brought me so much encouragement over the last week or so and I am FILLED to the brim with thankfulness for her in my life!!!!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!! Don't be lonely if you're single. Try not to focus on it and fill your time with productivity, dream pursuing, goal orientedness, hobbies, and self-improvement and love will find you when it's suppose to.

If You're Single on Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T11:57:00.000-08:00

My Mom sent me this! Enjoy.

A Valentine may play a love song for you,
but God sings you the sweetest love song
in the universe.
–>The Lord your God…will rejoice over
you with gladness, He will keep you
quiet with his love, He will rejoice
over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)

A Valentine may give you flowers, but
God sent you the most beautiful rose of
all, Jesus.
–> I am the rose of Sharon, and the
lily of the valleys. (Songs of Solomon 2:1)

A Valentine may take you out to dinner,
but God has invited you to the most
amazing feast ever given.
–> Blessed are those who are called to
the marriage supper of the Lamb!
(Revelation 19:9)

A Valentine may bring you chocolate, but
God provides you with something even
sweeter, His Word.
–> How sweet are your words to my
taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
(Psalm 119:103)

A Valentine may be far away, but God is
always with you.
–> I am with you always. (Matthew 28:20)

A Valentine may give you something, but
God has given you everything.
–> God gives us richly all things to
enjoy. (1 Timothy 6:17)

A Valentine may love you for a lifetime,
but God loved you before you were born
and will love you for all eternity!
–> Yes, I have loved you with an
everlasting love…with lovingkindness I
have drawn you. (Jeremiah 31:3)

SoCal and the magic of Disneyland!

2010-01-26T01:25:00.000-08:00

I love my life right now. Love. It. Let me paint you a picture...

I live in Southern California (or as my Californian roommate calls it, SoCal). I work for the happiest place on earth. I work where all the magic, make-believe, hope, and joy that is Disney was born. I am one of the millions helping to keep the magic alive. As one of my trainers said today, "It's up to us now." I'm a part of something special. I have the best job in the world and in my free time I can go to Disneyland or explore California as much as I want. My job opportunities are endless. I have two roommates, Megan, who is from California, and Amber, who is from China. They are super sweet. I could not ask for better roommates and friends. I have amazing neighbors, a sweet group of nice guys who are always in our apartment and are really great to have around. I have most of my super awesome family living within reach. I have already found a nice church that hopefully my schedule will allow me to get involved in. I have so many friends and best friends all around the country and even the world. I have the best parents and siblings. I have the sweetest dog on the planet. I have so many unique and exciting experiences and accomplishments under my belt.

I am SO thankful. Thank you, God. He has truly blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. I definitely wouldn't be where I am today without His hand on my life. I can't wait to see what He's got planned for the rest of my life. It's wide open.

My Favorites. Back into Blogging.

2010-01-09T17:35:00.000-08:00

I have not been writing in here in recent times because I feel most of what comes to mind is far too trivial and I put off writing anything too epic or involved because I find it hard to sit at my computer for any extended period of time. I've become FAR too active. I'm hoping to correct this for 2010.

So I'm just going to bite the bullet and blog about whatever is on my mind until I can get back into writing something of real substance.

Here's something random on my mind. I like to make lists. The list for today is a list of my favorite people.

My family:

Sheilah Daws

Billy Daws

Josh Daws

Becca Daws

Jer Daws

Jon Daws

Grant Daws

Mallory Graham (Soon to be Daws)

Molly Daws (My amazing dog...she's practically a person)

Vic Berry

Cindy Berry

Paul Berry

Kelly Berry

April Tomassoni

John Tomassoni

Dante Tomassoni

My Friends:

Kristin Wood

Megan Anderson

Kristina Donahue

Brittany Findley

Cynthia Hosford

Kirsten Quatela

Amanda Lewan

Danielle Kidwell

David Bass-Clark

Patrick Griffith

Wes Goodbrad

Joseph Fluty

and a few others.

Something that has been bothering me lately is the fact that most of the people I care about live in different states. It's rather frustrating. I don't think I'll ever actually be able to see all of my loved ones at the same place at the same time. That's kind of a depressing thought. I think if it were to happen it would be some huge miracle. Maybe when I get married one day I can wrangle all of my loved ones together but that is really the only foreseeable time where they could ever all be together, that and perhaps heaven?

I enjoy adventuring and I definitely don't have a boring life, but sometimes I wish I had grown up in one place in a small town where everyone I love lived together in one blissful utopia.

I'm also a very organized person, so it bothers me knowing that all the people I care about can never been completely organized together in one place. It's unsettling. Which shows me just how ridiculously OCD I am. It's hard for me not to get hung up on this.

I hope that one day at least the vast majority of my love ones will be in the same place. Or perhaps I'll have enough money that I will be able to visit each of them as freely as I choose. I guess I just have to let God lead me in the way in which He wants me to go and trust that if these people are supposed to be in my life He will provide ways for me to keep in touch, get together with, and be near them.

I'm moving to California for 8 months the day after tomorrow. Just another adventure in my ridiculously unsettled life. I shall try and enjoy the ride.

Wrapping up my Walt Disney World College Program

2009-12-21T22:18:00.000-08:00

My last episode as a Walt Disney World College Program participant. Soon I'll be updating from Disneyland!!

Goldie's Last Day

2009-12-07T11:47:00.000-08:00

Goldie Daws Passed away yesterday (December 6, 2009)

She had been having trouble using the bathroom on her own. She had something blocking her bladder. Doctors tried everything. We had to put her down. :,( One of the many risks that comes from leaving home for something like the Disney College Program...home won't stay on pause until you get back as much as you would like for it to.

GOLDIE

Eeyore mixed with Dug.

She was shy but she loved everyone unconditionally.

She was humble.

She was sweet.

I'll miss her running around the room when she would get excited.

She was always there when I needed her.

We had a great 12 years together.

I put this video together with old clips and photos I found of Goldie on my computer. The song is called Goldie's Last Day by PFR. We named her after this song.

Halloween Vlog.

2009-11-14T15:32:00.000-08:00

Check out my latest video blog!!

Older Vlog post and a video of me as a safari driver!

2009-10-19T15:34:00.000-07:00

Kilimanjaro Safaris!

2009-10-19T15:31:00.001-07:00

I love working as a safari driver!!!! It rocks!!

Check out my latest vlog:

Rafiki's Planet Watch

2009-08-29T17:32:00.000-07:00

New vlog post!

I'm here...living at the happiest place on earth!!!!

2009-08-13T09:37:00.001-07:00

Hellooo!

I'm officially at Disney! Check in was yesterday and it was fun. They had us non-stop busy. Kinda reminded me of the first day at Mars Hill College except with a lot more people and a great disney flare.

First we were at Vista Way for room assignments and such. Then we had a little bit of free time and after that we went to Casting. Casting was AMAZING. That building is gorgeous. It reminded me of those videos of Pixar on the special features of all their DVDs. Very cool environment. I definitely had that whole "oh my gosh I'm really doing this" feeling as soon as I walked through the doors. The doorknobs by the way were like the doorknob from Alice in Wonderland. Super neat. Then there's a great rotunda with are gold disney statues on pillars and a disney cast member to greet you. Then you turn to your left and wall down this beautiful corridor that has awesome paintings on the walls from Alice in Wonderland. After that you follow a maze through the building as you talk to different representatives about what your job, your look, and various other important items. Hmm...I just put that together...the building is very maze-like...and it's Alice in Wonderland themed. I seem to remember a maze at the end of that movie. I wonder if that was intentional. They give you like 5 pounds worth of paper work.

I met some fun people and I'm realllly anxious to meet more.

I had two people recognize me from my vlog updates on youtube!! It went something like "wait...are you Jenny Daws?" and "Jenny Daws!" haha...I was a bit shocked. But verrrry flattered.

Also a few people have asked me if I'm a character performer or if I'm going to be Snow White. Hmm I guess it's the short hair cut. It's a nice compliment tho! I think I will be her for Halloween...I was already toying around with the idea. Tho...I'm not very fond of her or that movie.

I'm sitting in the computer lab waiting on my next vlog to finish uploading. Make sure to check it out. There is someone in here listening to Avril Lavigne very loudly on their headphones. I don't mind because I love her!! Good stuff.

My roomies seem to be pretty nice! We are all very different but I think it's cool because that means we'll have lots to learn from each other.

Oddly enough I haven't met anyone yet who shares my love for High School Musical. Which seems pretty weird!! But I have enjoyed talking to other disney lovers! One of my roomies has Disney Scene It...we will have to have a tournament soon!

I am most definitely working at Animal Kingdom at in "Africa" at Rafiki's Planet Watch and I'm very very excited about my job there! What more could a girl want?! Working at the happiest place on earth, at Disney's Animal Kingdom, in "Africa", working with and around exotic (mostly African) animals every day, with unlimited access to the parks!!!??!! How did I get here?!?! Thank you, God!! Thank you thank you thank youuuuuuuu!

I'm taking Corporate Analysis and Exploring Guest Services at Disney. Sadly, they don't start for a month or two.

Also I found out a cool place to volunteer with if my schedule works out. Give Kids the World. Terminally ill kids and their families can come and go to the parks for free!! ALSO...John Stamos is one of the chairman of the organization!!! WOW WOW WOW. There are DEFINITELY perks to volunteering ;). Thank God for the Bonner scholarship and giving me a love for volunteer work!

I could go on for hours typing about my adventures, but my vlog just ended and I'm finally having the urge to do some cooking. I better run and get something going before I loose that urge!! I'd say that cooking for me is kind of like blogging, vlogging, collaging, and writing...I can't really do it unless I'm inspired. Which means I might be starving for this little bit. :P

Watch my vlog here :)

Last vlog before I become a Disney Cast Member!

2009-08-04T14:01:00.000-07:00

I'll be arriving in the Orlando area in 3 days and checking into the Disney College Program on Wednesday, which is in 4 days! Check out my last vlog until I am officially a Disney Cast Member!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMr77MDEoCs

Bittersweet.

2009-07-26T21:43:00.000-07:00

I'm worried, sad, and bummed out about a few key things in my life tonight. Most of them having to do with leaving my family in 15 days to move to Orlando, FL for the Disney College Program and the various issues related to that.

I kinda wish I could be transported back to 1998 in Rome, GA, in the front yard of our house at 1863 Floyd Springs Rd. Once again playing in the fall leaves with my bestest little girl friends without a care in the world about where I'm going to be, or how I'm going to keep my family safe, close, and happy. We were golden then. Instead I would just be in that peaceful state of mind that goes along with being an 11 year old kid. Not worrying about what the rest of my life will look like at all. Back then the thought never crossed my mind that someday my family wouldn't be together, or that there would come a day when I would have to miss holidays with my family to pursue my dreams. It was just certainty that we'd be a unit always.

And now, the thought of moving away, to possibly never be a resident in my parents home again, to start my own path is tearing me apart. Thoughts of not being able to come home for the weekend if I need to. Or the ever real fact that Jer no longer lives here and that he's not on vacation, he's really gone to start his own path as well and I don't even know when I'll see my brother again :,(. Thoughts of what I'll be missing while I'm gone, Christmas with my family, my animals, my nephew, quality time with my parents and siblings that still live here. It rips me apart. My brothers, Becca, and I have finally reached an age where we are all on the same page and I love them so much more now that we're all adults than ever before, and now I'm leaving? Just when I'm starting to build such great relationships with them? Where will I be in the next 6 months? Where will the rest of my family be? Who is gonna take care of Molly?

When I said "goodnight" to Molly tonight and she licked me on the nose like she often does, I couldn't help but shed a tear...How can I leave her? It's not like college where I can come home every few weeks. 5 months away from her? What will she think? How will she feel?

I just don't know about all this growing up business. I keep thinking of all the wonderful things that I've taken for granted about the infamous Daws family all these years, and now that I finally appreciate everything that is the essence of Daws and everyone in this amazing unit I was born into, I'm leaving and everyone is going there separate ways and all manner of changes are taking place! It's just not fair. I dare anyone to say that we are not a special family. There's just something about the Daws family that is magical.

I just wish I could fast forward and make certain that the future of the Daws family will be bright. I think then I could leave a little easier.

I'm reminded of a quote from Father of the Bride,

"I mean, I know I can't stay, but it's like I don't want to leave." - Annie Banks

:,(

23 days til Disney!

2009-07-20T19:34:00.000-07:00

I have two new blog posts. Episodes 6 and 7.

Check them out here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_LDJFJD8AQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VkZ4oKLRAA

I spent the week before last in Asheville, NC. I have sooo many awesome friends who live there. It might be one of my favorite places in the world. So many great memories from college there too.

I found out that I will likely be working at Disney's Animal Kingdom. Sweet! I just might get to use my biology degree after all! I love that.

I'm so stinkin' excited. I'm really gonna miss my family and my pets though. :/

From the Inside Out - Todd Fields

2009-06-26T12:45:00.000-07:00

From the Inside Out - Todd Fields

(well...i'm not sure who wrote this song first...

but i've been listing to his version on repeat.)

A thousand times I've failed Still your mercy remains

 And should I stumble again Still I'm caught in your grace

  Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

 Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

 my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control

 Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains

The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control

Consume me from the inside out

Lord Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

Chorus 2x

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades Never ending,

Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise

From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

Todd Fields is my favorite worship leader/artist.  Check him out on iTunes.

All of his songs are so powerful.

2 new "vlog" posts! check it out!!

2009-06-23T20:03:00.000-07:00

Here's an update of what I've been up to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDyLktkEAbo&feature=channel_page

Here's a little slide show music video I put together of past times at Disney World with my family and friends! The song is a pretty awesome remix of attractions sounds and songs from different parks. I'm not sure where the song came from ...but it's great for diehard disney fans.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIZ972o2o_g&feature=channel_page

Memorable Quotes...

2009-06-18T22:02:00.000-07:00

The Daws Family: we are movie people, we are television people.

Some families are sports families, some are music families, some are book families, some are car families, and some are other-kinds-of-things families. But my family: we are movie and tv people. We know tons of movie and tv trivia and most of our conversations consist of quotes or references from movies and tv shows that we love. Because of this, hanging out with my family is like being in a special club that speaks its own language.

I view my life as if it were a movie. I compare it to things I've seen or heard in movies. I think in movie quotes.

Here are just a few of the quotes that have been swirling around in my head lately:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kathleen Kelly: Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void. - You've Got Mail

Lucy: Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah, I betcha don't, you're probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever, like, seen somebody? And you knew that, if only that person *really* knew you, they would, well, they would of course dump the perfect model that they were with, and realize that YOU were the one that they wanted to, just, grow old with. Have you ever fallen in love with someone you haven't even talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spend the night confusing a man in a coma? - While You Were Sleeping

Harrison Winslow: Who came up with this ridiculous concept anyway? Resolve your entire life in one bold stroke? What if I fail? And I will. I'll fail. I'm telling you. I always fail. Then my whole life will be a complete failure.
Thomas Reilly: No offense, Harrison. But you died a failure because you never tried. - Heart and Souls

Milo Peck: Hey, life's tough. Sometimes you don't get what you want. Mostly you don't get what you want.

- Heart and Souls

Thomas Reilly: I've loved people before and they went away. So a long time ago I made a decision that I wasn't gonna need anybody anymore. I wasted most of my life that way. And I know I'm late and I know don't deserve it, I need you I love you. - Heart and Souls

Mike O' Donnell: When you're young everything feels like the end of the world. But it's not; it's just the beginning. You might have to meet a few more jerks, but one day you're gonna meet a boy who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Like the sun rises and sets with you.
- 17 Again

Bailey: Ya know, I don't know, Tibby, maybe the truth is there's a little bit of loser in all of us, ya know? Being happy isn't having everything in your life be perfect. Maybe it's about stringing together all the little things like wearing these pants or getting to a new level of Dragon's Lair - making those count for more than the bad stuff. Maybe we just get through it... and that's all we can ask for. - Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
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I think my favorite kinds of movies are those with beautifully spoken, meaningful words. My favorite songs are the same way. I'm a words person. When I listen to a song or watch something...I pay way more attention to what is being said than what the music sounds like or the way something was shot. Because of this, I love movies that have some kind of narration or voice over either by an outside narrator or ones that are narrated by the main character. Those are the best!

I will NOT waste this summer, ok!?

2009-06-16T12:21:00.000-07:00

I have no real obligations until August 12th.

This is frustrating. Although something that is even more frustrating is the fact that whenever I'm extremely busy, I hope for down time like this and whenever I'm extremely "un-busy" I hope for something to consume my time.

Why can't I be satisfied? Whenever I have a million friends around...I wish to be alone. Whenever I'm alone I wish I had someone to hang out with. What's up with that?! I'm very fickle.

I've been trying to come up with ideas of what to do with all this free time...

Read The Chronicles of Narnia
Have a daily time with God
Re-learn French
Learn to cook

But somehow I can't bring myself to wake up before 11 for such simple and seemingly unimportant activities.

It occurred to me the other day ...I've never read ALL the way through the Bible. Which seems pretty stupid since I base my life and all my decisions on it's teachings.

When I was always busy with school I always promised myself...

"if only I had some free time, I'd do all the things I always put off because of all my obligations." Well that time is now and one of those things on my "list" was to read the Bible.

So perhaps since I have absolutely nothing to do and it's a rare occasion when I actually have anyone to hang out with in the mind-numbingly boring city of Buford, maybe I should just bite the bullet and commit to reading the Bible this summer.

I'm frustrated with me...I WILL make the most of this down time!!! I don't want to wait my summer!!

Actually the only reason I am writing this...is because I need some way of keeping myself accountable...so at least next time I write hopefully if I haven't been keeping up with this commitment, this post will convict me and I'll be held accountable.

I have NO excuse for not reading...so feel free to yell at me if need be.

60 days and counting...

2009-06-13T14:51:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that in 60 days I'll be working at Disney World with unlimited access to all 4 parks whenever I feel like going. WTF!?! Crazzzzzzy!

Not too much has been going on...

Here's another video update!

Learning how to use iMovie!

2009-06-05T01:09:00.000-07:00

I am trying to learn how to use iMovie so that my video blogs can be much more entertaining :)

Here's my first try...tell me what ya think!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCPK_RO_I0w

Video Blog!?!

2009-06-04T21:23:00.000-07:00

Check out my new youtube account!

I am now a video blogger...crazzzzy!

So, I didn't realize how ridiculously shy I am. I can do all sorts of stupid silly things in front of a camera....but when it comes to being serious...I need some practice. I wonder if there is any deeper meaning to that...do I not take myself seriously enough? Maybe that's why I always have trouble getting everyone else to take me seriously! Hmm...who knew you could learn so much about yourself just from making a video blog. :-P

My new video blog endeavour is made possible by my brand NEW MacBook!! Yay!

Also I have a NEW hair cut! It's super short. I've always wanted to cut it this short...It definitely takes some getting used to though. I go back and forth between loving it and hating it...I'm quite the indecisive woman.

We'll see what comes of this whole video blogging thing...I'm just testing the waters.

http://www.youtube.com/user/jennydaws

Church Hopper Extraordinaire

2009-05-30T22:15:00.000-07:00

I just want to find a contemporary church with meaningful sermons from taken from the bible and good worship, where I can connect with other Christians who are around my age and in the same stage of life!!! It's a shame that I'm striking out trying to find that. I'm sick of church hopping!

I've had some crazy church hopping experiences...there was the time I visited a church just to watch the preacher teach the congregation how to cook a delicious meal of chicken or the time when the pastor of the church pelted the congregation with packages of skittles. I want to go to a church that's not ridiculous!! Like the good ole days when churches weren't trying to impress you with showing things...like food!! lol. Also I want a church that isn't so big that i'm just another number!!

If you would have asked me or anyone who knew me when I was younger if I thought I'd be a church hopper or almost completely a non-church go-er when I became an adult I would have laughed!

I grew up as a pastors kid, assuming the daddy's little princess role in our church and eating it up! I loved the church I grew up in...and I still love it! I will most likely get married in that church. Unfortunately we didn't stay at that church or in that area past age 11. Due to even more unfortunate circumstances, after I was about 17 my dad never really had a steady church he was pastoring. Now that he does interim pastor work (he comes in and works as the pastor until they get a permanent guy to come), the churches he is at are always very far away from our house. So here I am living at home again (at least for the summer) as a college graduate, in a city I never really connected with, having few friends here, and all I want is a place to connect!!

I am soooo over the suburbs...cities are fun, but I really love small towns and the community feeling that comes with them.

So I guess I'll just stay home tomorrow...maybe watch a sermon online or something. I don't have a great attitude about find a church either lol...I'm just frustrated that I'm not already connected in one with lots of wonderful friends and a serious boyfriend...haha...I dunno...It's just funny how life doesn't turn out at all how you imagined it when you were 10 years old.

But I'm sure it's all part of God's master plan...just feeling a lil blue and wondering what's next for me now that college is over and life is wide open...or narrow and closed (depending on how you look at it :P)

Mars Hill College Alumni!

2009-05-26T16:59:00.000-07:00

Hello, from the Mars Hill College graduate!

I graduated with a degree in Biology on May 9th.
The week after graduation I went to Merritt Island, FL to visit my Aunt and Uncle with Kristina (my roommate from college). I took Kristina to disney for the first time! We had lots of fun. I also got to meet some fellow upcoming disney college program participants.
The week after that (last week) I subbed every day at the daycare that my mom works at. It was really fun, though I'm glad I have this week to chill out now.
On saturday was my graduation reception. It was great! I'm glad so many people were able to come to it.

I am going to do the Disney College Program on August 12th. Until then I'm just chilling out at home, learning to cook, reorganizing my life, and looking for summer work.

Tonight I cooked my first meal of the summer, chicken tetrazzini. It turned out pretty well, I definitely ate WAYY too much of it. I'm stuffed.

Time

2009-05-02T12:04:00.000-07:00

How the heck did I get to this point? I'm graduating from college a week from today.

All the speculating and dreaming I've done about being out of school is finally becoming a reality. I feel as though my future out of the education system will be so much free-er. I can use my free time how I want to use it. I can do what I want to do. I think what I've disliked most about this last semester and all of my time in school is that I have been a slave to my work...even when I'm not in class. I've had to spend my time learning things I don't really care about. When I get out I'll be able to relax at night and my free time will be my own again! I can spend that time indulging in the things that I love...I feel like lately my personality has been suspended because I haven't been able to do "Jenny" things ...only homework.

I am pretty darn excited about having time to read the Chronicles of Narnia again...I've been stuck in time inside of the Horse and His Boy for months! I gotta get through that book so I can find out how it all ends up (don't tell me!!!).

As we go on we remember...all the times we've...shared together.

2009-04-29T23:21:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday I went to senior convocation and experienced my first real feeling of bittersweetness about graduating. Today was the last day of school! MY last day of school! What!? We also had graduation rehearsal today. That's when it all became real. I'm graduating in 9 days! I still have to pass my genetics and ecology final (so i can't REALLY relax until next Thursday, may 7th, when final grades are posted...but then it's official.)

It all happened so fast. I'm wishing I would have had more time to hang out with a lot of awesome people. There are so many people in my world here at Mars Hill that I always intended to or wanted to get to know better or invest more time in. It sucks that time has gotten away from me and any chances I have to be with these people are slipping away! I will miss my close friends here very much. But it's the acquaintances or friends that I didn't actually hang out with outside of classes, scholarship meetings, blueprint, or seeing them in the caf...that I'm lamenting even more. Those are the people who I might not have ever said much to...but they've meant a lot...just seeing them...having them in my bubble...around me....that's something I'll miss. It's the people that I would exchange a friendly (or sometimes flirty) smile with almost every day that I regret not having taken the time to invest in. The friends that I would say "yea sure...we'll totally hang out soon!" and then we never did...I feel pretty crappy about those relationships. I've appreciated having these people in my life so much...I just wish I could convey that to all of them!

There have been so many awesome memories...every semester has been a new and different experience. I'm so thankful for my time here and all the wonderful people that have put the color into my life.

In my newly forming adult life...I want to:

invest in my relationships more
make a recipe scrap book
learn to cook
read novels
stop stressing out so much!
be intentional
life live on purpose

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HDM3eYp4KQ

Burnt to a crisp...

2009-04-26T22:33:00.000-07:00

Not only am I burnt to a crisp from this recent emergence of glorious sunshine....I am also officially burnt out from school.

Especially now that it's beautiful outside...it's getting increasingly harder for me to concentrate. I can't fully enjoy the sunshine...but I also can't fully concentrate on school. It's actually pretty miserable and has left me in constant panic and worry. I don't like it!

I have two tests tomorrow with I feel pretty unprepared for. Every time I've tried to study, my brain shuts down and I get wayyyy overwelmed. This is a bit scary. I would hate to make it this far (13 days!!) just to fail miserably and disappoint everyone around me including myself.

I can't think like that though. I will make it! I've come too far to give up now. I got this.

I finally went onto the roof of Moore Auditorium the other day (a Mar Hill College must for every student). It was pretty awesome. You have to climb this scary metal ladder wayyyy up and then you walk along the rafters and crawl out a door onto the roof.
I enjoyed that immensely :). So I'm officially ready to graduate.

I've been listening to that Graduation song by Vitamin C alot lately. Haha...good stuff.

I'M SO READY!!

And the winner is....

2009-04-26T22:20:00.000-07:00

I chose to do the college program at Disney World in FL!

CA was just wayy too expensive and unrealistic. Maybe I could transfer there later...but for now I'm very content with my decision to go to FL. I'm excited to be living there again...especially since it will be near my extended family which I don't get to see very often. I will be there from August 12-January 2. :) In the mean time, I'm going to try to get my old retail job back at Nordstrom in the Mall of Georgia. I hope that works out so I can make some money before I go to FL.

13 days til I graduate!

Lyrics.

2009-04-18T22:28:00.000-07:00

I got accepted into the Disney College Program at Disney Land in California! Now I have a decision to make. FL or CA?

Whether or not I like a song usually depends on whether or not I connect with the lyrics in someway. I love lyrics. I get pretty darn impatient with songs that have really long intros because I love the lyrics so much. I totally think in song lyrics and movie quotes. So when I was trying to put into words how I am feeling about getting accepted into both Disney World and Disney Land College Programs...these words came to mind from the musical Wicked:

That's why I couldn't be happier
No, I couldn't be happier
Though it is, I admit
The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated
But I couldn't be happier
Simply couldn't be happier
(spoken) Well - not "simply":
(sung) 'Cause getting your dreams
It's strange, but it seems
A little - well - complicated
There's a kind of a sort of : cost
There's a couple of things get: lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn't know you crossed
Until you've crossed
And if that joy, that thrill
Doesn't thrill you like you think it will
Still -
With this perfect finale
The cheers and ballyhoo
Who
Wouldn't be happier?
So I couldn't be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true
Well, isn't it?
Happy is what happens
When your dreams come true!

-Glenda the "Good" Witch

It's really interesting how this has all hit me. My dreams have come true...I should be bouncing on the walls with excitement, right!? I'm learning that dreams are pretty scary once they become reality...that's when you have to think about all the little details like money and time! Either way I'm going to miss thanksgiving and Christmas with my family. Either way I'm missing out on priceless time with my nephew, my pets (especially my dog, Molly, she's getting pretty old), and my family. Either way I'm moving out and who knows if I'll live at home again. Either way I'm becoming an adult! Just as the song says "'...Getting your dreams, It's strange, but it seems, A little - well - complicated. There's a kind of a sort of : cost,There's a couple of things get: lost"

Yesterday I was leaning towards Disney Land. Today I'm leaning towards Disney World. There are pros and cons to both. Ultimately I need to spend time praying and asking God what HE wants me to do. For all I know HE might not even want me to go to either one. I need direction...I've always struggled with praying for things...perhaps this is a great opportunity for me to conquer that.

There are 20 days until I graduate. Yay!!!!!!

I'm doing my Senior Seminar Presentation on Monday! Ahhhh! I keep going back and forth between being crazy nervous and being really calm about the whole thing. I just want to get it over with! I've been freaking out about this for about a year...I can't believe it's finally here! Yikes!

Prickly

2009-04-15T18:54:00.000-07:00

I graduate in 23 days. I love that. Really I just love that this whole stressful time will be finished. It's making me find fault with everything and everybody...it's not the Jenny we all know and love. I just need some alone time lately just to de-stress. Soon the stress will be over...I just hope I don't go too insane before it does.

BTW...Guess what!?
I got accepted into the Disney College Program at Walt Disney World in Orlando, FL! Heck yea!
That's pretty freaking sweet! I'm still waiting on Disneyland in CA (my preference). But either way I suppose I'll be working for Disney in the fall. You would think I'd be crazy excited right? I'm actually seriously nervous and scared of the commitment I'm about to enter. But I'm sure I'll do great and love it.
I think I just have random commitment issues sometimes...anything long term scares me. Which is why I dislike committing to long term projects...I like short term goals. They are so much less scary and do-able. I suppose that's just my personality...maybe I don't believe in myself enough or something...who knows.

In other news...

I got my cap and gown!! Yay!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Check this out...My brother's band, Stellate, is in AP magazine!! He's the second one from the left. I'm so freaking proud! I carry the pages around with me everywhere I go.

ALSO... A friend of mine, Ashley Griffin, is a graduating art major and I'm in her art exhibit this weekend at my college (sadly I can't be there)! She took photographs of a bunch of people with a creative item that defines them. (I took a picture with the t-shirt quilt that I made this past summer.) She made the person black and white and bumped up the contrast of the item. It looks pretty awesome...I'm so proud of her! Here's one of the invitations:

My photo of the invitation is pretty crappy...but you get the idea!

I also finished my senior seminar paper...but I don't have a nifty photo for that yet.